tell me I did not break my effing ankle for Christmas/Festivus

[Wetzelbill]

I tell everybody I did it while carrying a big swivel chair down the stairs midnight on Christmas morning, and that I rolled my ankle and the thing fell on me and I rerolled it back the unnatural way and something popped.

But really, I was actually running into a burning building to save an old lady, a baby, and a few kittens and puppies. Yes, that is what happened. Truly.

The sad thing is I haven't been able to take my Festivus pole down yet. I think I'll just wait until after New Years.