Thoughts On Alec Baldwin's Message to his Daughter

[DWilliamsamh]

I heard this, this morning. Time line of my reaction


1) Wow he really used some abusive language aimed at his kid. That's awful.
2) Remembered the anger and resentment I felt the last time my ten year old lied to my face.
3) Remembered the language and tone I used including a few well placed and consciously used expletives to make SURE he understood this was not a little thing we were talking about.
4) Thanked GOD I am not a public person with an ex-wife willing to break a court order to make me look bad in a court custody case where my child is being used as a weapon with no regard for the embarrassment sure to be experienced by our child.
5) Realized that I had NO CLUE what precipitated this reaction from dad. Could it be that dad said no to some ridiculous request made by an 11 year old who knows mommy and daddy can "afford" just about anything, and upon being told no played mommies against daddy and got what she wanted? Or did the daughter make an honest decision that she wanted to blow off a "visitation weekend," and hurt a petulant, childish man's feelings; and he subsequently "lost it" in an immature hurtful tirade? (At the time I didn't know the message was left as a reaction to the kid turning off her cell phone at a time she new dad was supposed to be calling)
6) Gee I bet he felt horrible about saying that about thirty seconds after he hung up the phone (either for noble reason's or selfish ones, probably some of both)
7) Gee I bet he REALLY feels awful about this now that it's in the public media (again either for noble or selfish reason, but most likely a combination of the two)
8) Man there is going to be a LOT of public bashing of Baldwin based on the bullshit idea that "there's NO excuse for EVER talking to an 11 year old in that way." I guarantee that those who espouse that view either NEVER raised a child, or despite knowing damn well that there are plenty of valid reasons for ripping a kid a new asshole, will not acknowledge it because they want to hold onto a fake reason to justify ripping Alec Baldwin apart for doing what every single parent on the PLANET has done at some point between their child's 5th and 18th birthdays.

Look I don't care how "good" a parent you are, at some point your child is going to do something that is going to piss you off BIG TIME. Expressing that anger is in fact part of teaching a child that their actions and decisions have consequences. Just like realizing that you blew your stack for no good reason and apologizing for it teaches them that real adults aren't perfect and get things wrong sometimes and the mature thing to do is recognize it and apologize and/or try to make things right. Of course the next phone call where he appologized; or the face to face after he "flew out there," where he may have said exactly that (or not) is not a part of the story. You can bet teh Bassinger side of the battle will not be quick to break the court order to let the media knwo that Alec was truely remorseful (maybe he wasn't we don't know) and did his best to explain in more rational terms why he was so angy.

Not one parent on the "left" or "right" would like tape of them at their angriest (even when it's justified) moments with their kids aired to a national audience to be picked apart by armchair psychologists (me included), some of whom have a bone to pick with you. It is unfortunate for all involved that this tape was released to the media and whoever did it should be held in contempt of court, fined heavily and thrown in jail for a couple days. There is a REASON the court ordered that things like this be held in confidence; this "media incident" and the inevitable compounded-hurt experience by this child is exactly why the order was in place.