Hope, anyone? Please?

[AlienGirl]

Okay, everything seems to be breaking down for me. My car's broken, my computer can't connect to the household LAN, so I've been using my roomie's computer, I haven't been able to collect my SSI because of bureaucratic hoops I have to jump through, and I have job applications in at about ten places and none have contacted me. I have been out of Paxil for a week and I have a total of four dollars to my name, so I can't buy more until I can beg enough money from my ex-husband to pay for it.

I developed a Really Stupid Crush on someone who isn't in the least attracted to me, I've been having to rely on other people to buy food so I can eat, and last night C-C took me "out on the town" and even though I dressed up and looked my best, nobody even looked at me. My teeth are falling apart, I still have to make an appointment with the ENT to have a new sore on my tongue looked at, and I found out that the lease here runs out in June and my roomies will probably want me out then. My credit sucks (probably why I can't get a job) and I have no idea how I'll ever get accepted to rent a place on my own.

Because of everything going so downhill in my life, I'm for sure not going to be able to attend classes Fall Quarter. I need to get my loans out of default first, for which I need a consolidation--for which I need a source of income.

I'm starting to think every single decision I've made in the past few years has been wrong. Especially the decision to move in here; there's no way my roomies *aren't* beginning to resent me. I try to do things for them, but I'm not "family" to them the way they are to each other.

So...what do you guys think about hope? Is it "the thing with feathers" that gets us through hard times; or conversely, is it the thing that "lies to mortals, and most believe her"? Is there any reason at all to think the future will be any brighter than the present?

Tucker