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[Dr. Strange]

For my 1000th post...

I've had friends who have looked at some of the threads on DU, and while the topic might be interesting, the thread is so long that they decide they don't have the time to read them. In an effort to assist these people, I think we should take some of the important threads and condense them. I have a few examples...

Circuit City
Person 1: This guy was asked for a receipt while leaving Circuit City. He said, “No!” What a hero!
Person 2: No, he’s an idiot.
Person 1: No! He’s Rosa Parks. You’re a corporate Freeper!
Person 2: Rats! You found me out.


Circumcision
Person 1: Circumcision is wrong.
Person 2: Let parents decide.
(Various deleted subthreads on whether male and female circumcision are the same.)
Person 2: I was or know someone who was circumcised and we’re fine!
Person 1: I was or know someone who was circumcised and they grew up to be a telemarketer.


The Gungeon
Person 1: If guns are outlawed, then only outlaws will have guns.
Person 2: We’re not outlawing guns! We’re just making them illegal so they won’t kill any more people.
Person 1: Guns don’t kill. People kill.
Person 2: Shovel that pantload to the racists at the NRA!
Mods: We’re locking this crap.


Spanking
Person 1: Spanking is wrong.
Person 2: Let parents decide.
Person 1: No, it’s abuse.
Person 2: You need to be circumcised!


Rape is Terrorism
Person 1: Rape is Terrorism.
Person 2: No, terrorism has a specific definition. Not all rape is terrorism.
Person 1: Yes! Rape is terrorism. It is also a floor wax and a dessert topping.
Person 2: Um, what?!
Person 1: Typical patriarchal bullshit!


The 9/11 Forum
Person 1: MIHOP
Person 2: Sorry, can’t buy that. LIHOP.
Person 3: Maybe there actually were hijackers?
Person 1: OCT? No, you troll. It was lasers, missiles, holograms…
Mods: We’re locking this crap.


Religion
Person 1: Christians are assholes!
Person 2: That’s bigotry! Besides, the Muslims are the real assholes!
Person 3: No, all religions are crap. There is no god.
Person 2: You atheists are assholes!


PETA
Person 1: Peta is doing something stupid!
Person 2: They’re helping the animals. That’s what’s important!
Person 3: People Eating Tasty Animals!
Persons 1 and 2: You’re an asshole.


Feel free to add to the list.