Hold on to your seats, everyone - I'm gonna fold space.

[Rabrrrrrr]

I'm gonna fold us into a reality in which Al Gore lost the election to George Bush in 2000, our country was attacked by Saudi Arabian/Al Qaeda terrorists in late 2001, we went to war with Iraq in response in 2003, the economy has tanked, John Kerry lost to George Bush ibn 2004, Republican crimes go unpunished even after a miraculous democratic majority came into power in 2006, the economy continues to tank, the US is considering war with Iran in response to some kind of non-existent attack that is yet to happen with weapons that they don't have, and congress spends its time investigating steroid use in baseball and hiring male and female prostitutes and/or trolling for hits in public bathrooms while the economy continues to tank and we borrow a half trillion dollars a year to finance the war in Iraq , a war that has now lasted a year longer than WWII and has achieved no more than we achieved on the day of the Pearl Harbor attack.

Why am I going to fold us into that reality?

Because I'm an asshat. That's why.

Nyah.