I'm so fucking fucked

[GirlinContempt]

I just got a call from my room mate.

She is moving out by the end of the month. She's going to live with her parents.

Apparently, she can't AFFORD $350 a month with a full time job that pays more than min. wage, and two side gigs that bring in around $200/week.

We are on a year lease. It isn't up until May. Now, we're both on the lease, so technically, she should be just as responsible as I am for any costs incurred by breaking the lease. However, this probably will be incredibly difficult to get from her. She isn't much for honouring her responsibilities, clearly, or she wouldn't be giving her disabled room mate less than a months notice that she's abandoning her in an apartment she couldn't afford with DOUBLE her welfare disability money. And, I am seriously physically incapable of working right now, I have been for a year now as many of you will know. If anything, my problems are getting worse, not better.

And, I have nowhere to go. Sure, I could crash on some couches for a bit, but I don't have anywhere to MOVE to, nor anywhere to keep my furniture and belongings if I leave this place. If I am responsible for paying the rent here until a new tenant can be found, or for three months (as I understand it, I'm waiting for clarification from the Rez Tenancies Branch on the whole thing) I couldn't possibly afford to get a new place to live. And, with the money I'm given, if I don't have a room mate my housing options are:

A) A skeezy, small, bachelor apartment in a bad neighbourhood, far from any friends or family to assist me that would also increase my transportation costs for silly things like Drs appointments and hospital visits, not to mention being unsafe.

B) That is my only option. I've looked in to it before now. That's it. I might be able to get on a months-to-over-a-year long waiting list for some kind of subsidized housing with many but not all of the same problems, but that wouldn't give me a place to live in the mean time.

I can't afford to move. Hell, I can't even really afford to live where I live now, but I manage. I eat shitty food and I never go out, I have to borrow money for silly stuff like food or transportation, but, I eke by. But, to come up with the money to pay the rent here, even just my half, plus a damage deposit for a new place, plus the cost of moving, whatever you get the fucking idea. Cause, see, it's not like I can just force her to pay the rent and stay here until May. If she doesn't pay her half, I'll be evicted, and it's just a big fucking mess. Either I or the Landlord can take her to court, but that isn't going to resolve anything in a timely fashion.

Now, finding a subletter/Assigner would be one solution. But, with less than a month to find one, unlikely. Also at this time of year, good luck finding people who need to move. Seriously, I've looked. I've also looked for vacancies, and there are next to none. December/January, at least here, are not the times you want to move. I could find one place in my budget available for the end of January. And see above: Skeezy, icky, far, etc. Plus, I moved in here on a sublet, and I know my landlord. It took me over a month just to get him to get the fucking papers to me to sign. He didn't even get around to getting me a form for references until THREE WEEKS after I'd applied for the damn apartment. But I digress. Let me just say this, the apartment in the basement stood empty for about two months, and that was in the fall. Of course I will *TRY* to work it out, TRY to find someone to sublet, TRY to reason with my room mate. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up. I just know the situation. And it is really, really fucking bad.

I'm so fucking angry with her right now. What the fuck is her fucking problem. We moved in together because she desperatly needed a room mate. She was going through a hard time, she'd just split with her husband, she had nowhere to live, and I really wanted to help her out. We'd been friends for over a decade. I didn't *have* to move at the time, but I knew that sooner or later I would need to, and so I decided to move with her to help her out, and to be fair also help myself out. That way I knew I had a room mate. We talked at length before doing it. She was fully aware of my limited physical abilities, and expressed that she had no problem at all helping me out, maybe doing some more housework, running errands for apartment things like groceries, etc. She was also happy, because I have a computer, I gave her a bed and mattress, I had furniture to outfit the apartment, dishes, etc, all of which she didn't have, they were her husbands. So, it seemed all good, right?

Well, then she hooks up with a new boyfriend, and basically the second they start dating are inseperable, she ditches me alone for months KNOWING I can't, or at least shouldn't, live alone. She doesn't pay her share of the bills or contribute, she only pays her half of rent. And now, she thinks it's fucking REASONABLE to tell me LESS THAN A MONTH BEFORE that she's MOVING THE FUCK OUT??!?@?#?#?@

She knows my situation. Of all fucking people she should not be telling *ME* that *SHE* can't fucking AFFORD to live her. If I can fucking manage it on less than $500/month for EVERY GOD DAMN THING I NEED TO LIVE, she can fucking manage it. I'm so fucking angry and upset and worried as fucking hell about what I'm going to do.

How can you do that to someone? How can you just say: Fuck you, I'm abandoning you, deal with it.
You signed a fucking contract, you also made an agreement with your friend and room mate. At the very fucking least, you sit down, discuss the situation (BEFORE it gets so apparently dire you have to bail out in three weeks), come to an agreement, start searching for a new tenant, notify the landlord well in advance, and deal with it like mature responsible adults. If she had come to me say, three months ago, or was telling me that she couldn't afford it and that when we found someone she wanted to move, fine. I can understand that. It might give me time to work something out. I'm not mad that she wants to move, or even needs to move (which is just so insane to me, come on, if you cant afford $350/month on your income, you need some serious fucking help. Really. Truly. You don't have a car, you don't have kids, you don't even have pets. You have an apartment, your internet bill which she hasn't been paying, your cell phone, and your bus pass. That is it. Period), but that she thinks it's fucking OK to tell me this less than a month before hand and to leave her dirt poor, physically disabled room mate holding the shit end of the stick.

Fuck. What the fuck. Why is everything always going fucking wrong with me>?!??! Move over bedbugs, there's a new bitchqueen in town to ruin my life :P

And, I'm not really asking for advice or anything, if you have some, shoot. But, I have a pretty good handle on the situation. I've contacted the proper agencies who can inform me of my rights and responsibilities, I know where and how to find people to take over the lease if they exist, I know who I can contact for government housing options (and iknow about the wait for them :( ). I'm not saying I don't want to hear what you have to say, I'm just trying to avoid being yelled at for not taking advice I already know or maybe can't use. But I do appreciate all suggestions, maybe you can think of something I can't, and if so, please fire away. Mostly, I'm just really really really upset and worried and a little panicked and also pissed.

A tidbit of good news though: I do not have incurable bone cancer. The final tests are back in. I do. Not. Have. Cancer. YAAY