I love the smell of Cat Ass in the morning --

[Hell Hath No Fury]

For some freakish reason, two of my cats have discovered the Power of the Ass Plant to rouse me from sleep.

My cat Junior had perfected his morning wake me up routine -- his escalation level was impeccable (always start with the stand-on-her-chest-and-yell, never perform the threaten-to-pee-on-the-wall before knock-the-shit-of-the table but only after the stand-in-the-corner-behind-the-door-and-caterwaul) and had always ended with the bite-her-exposed-elbows and bite-her-nostril-pierce-her-nose combo.

Until lately.

After the bite-her-exposed-elbows and bite-her-nostril-pierce-her-nose a month or so ago, I thought it was over and I has survived another morning assault and settled in for a late morning nay. But it was very quiet suddenly. Too quiet.

I peeked open an eye just in time to see a poo-encrusted butthole being planted squarely on my right cheek.

I am not sure what flew across the room further right after that, my covers or Junior.

Low and behold, yesterday morning I was dawdling in bed and another of my cats, Mac and Cheese, just walks right up to me head, turns around, plants a leg on either side of my neck and squats right on my chin!

What the heck is up with that shit?!?!?!?

I have seven cats -- I am terrified they will all learn this new "trick". :scared:

Anyone else suffer this indignity from their cats???