Lesbians and gay men: what do you call your "significant other?"

[David__77]

I'm really curious what you call your significant other--particularly in the case of long-term commitment.

Partner?
Spouse?
Boy/girlfriend?
Wife/husband?
Lover?

"Partner" seems very business-like, as in "We're partners down at the law firm."

"Spouse" has an unpleasant ring to it.

For my case, "boyfriend" sounds a bit frivolous and unserious.

I don't identify with "husband," because of its definitional root of "manager" or head of household--it seems reactionary.

"Lover" is too sexual seeming and seems outdated...

What to do? I honestly don't know what to say sometimes. I've been with the man for four years and we've made a life commitment, are legal domestic partners, but I don't know what to refer to him as.

I guess this is one of the issues of being gay for some people.

All I know is that it offended me when his sister's husband introduced us as "this is my brother-in-law and his friend." We're definitely NOT friends!

"Friends" are who I hang out with, especially when I've had enough of him! (pretty much just kidding!)