Reply #22: "Lard Butts" Oh Dear Me

[put out]

Oh shit oh dear! I'm shaking my chair trying not to laugh and draw attention.

My Ma has a Maine Coon mix and he weighs 19 pounds. Good grief, he is big and he is fat. Taking him to the vet nearly got me a dislocated shoulder when my Ma was out of town. Picking him up causes my back to talk to me. When I'm sleeping and he decides to jump up and share the bed, guess who gets the best spot? After I recover from having the wind knocked out of me.

So the vet sez, give him this special diet food, one cup a day because the cat, Fergus, is overweight. Bwa-ha-ha. My mother insists that all this talk about a lard butt cat is an illusion because he just has a lot of hair.