Reply #7: Here's the one I tell my son and his friends when we are on campouts...

[Maddy McCall]

It was a very cold, dark, foggy night in 1945. The man and his girlfriend drove down a bumpy country road not very far from where we are camping right now--it was long past midnight. The fog was so thick that their headlights could barely pierce the dark. BAM! Their heads hit the car's roof as they hit a huge bump in the road. Then...whump whump whump.

Their tire was flat. The man, being a gentleman, hopped out of the car and took a look at the tire--it had a huge shred in the sidewall, with a piece of glistening steel still embedded in the gash. Now remember, this was LONG before cell phones, and the couple didn't have a flashlight with them, so it became obvious that they would have to spend the night in the car. As they snuggled close to each other, something HIT! the back of the car! The couple turned to look at the rear of the car, and there stood..........



The BLACK COW.



The black cow had glowing red eyes, daggers for horns, cleavers for hooves. Green steam puffed out of its nostrils. Red foamy slobber dripped from it's gnarled mouth. There was one thing it wanted, and one thing only. Human flesh. Muuuwahahahahahaha!

The man, again being a gentleman, told the young lady that there was nothing to worry about, that cows are stupid. He underestimated the danger.

He stepped out of the car. He said, "Now calm down, Bessie!"

Suddenly, the sound of clashing metal and ripping flesh could be heard by the young woman as she crouched down to the floorboard. That is precisely where the sheriff's deputy found her the next morning.

Nothing remained of the man, except for the bloody green tie that he had been wearing the last time she saw him. She told the deputy what had happened. He told her not to worry--that he would get her to safety. They drove to the nearby farm, where the deputy had the farmer's wife prepare the young lady a nice cup of warm cocoa. As she sat at the kitchen table, she gazed out the window toward the dairy...and there stood.....

The Black Cow!

She completely lost anything resembling sanity that she had held onto. She screamed that the murderer was in the barn being milked, that the deputy must do something.

That young lady is now almost eighty years old--she is still living in an insane assylum up north of here. Day in, day out, she sits in front of the window, rocking to and fro, mumbling something about bloody milk.

The Black Cow still roams these woods. Even though many people have disappeared around here, the deputies do nothing about it because they don't believe this story. But if you ever see two red dots of light in the distance as you drive down a county road, you have just found yourself in the sights of the Black Cow, so run as fast as you can to the city, because that is the only place the Black Cow never ventures. She prefers the woods----woods just like these.

Muaahahahahahahahaha!

(And they love this story; as a matter of fact, the Black Cow is now a series. It's become so famous among my kid's friends that any time I am at a kid's event at night, they make me tell it, and then other Black Cow fans are made. :-) )