Reply #4: From a fellow MSer

[tpsbmam]

Absolutely do NOT let other people tell you that you "can't" or how people are going to respond to you. YOU have a lot to say in how people respond to you. There are wise, strong men in this world who don't let something like that stop them. (Having said that, I can understand people who might hesitate -- I have a male friend, for example, whose Mom had progressive MS and he spent his childhood taking care of her -- I can understand why he might hesitate.)

I faced the same issue as a single female. My approach always was that if I discovered that a man didn't want to be with me due to my MS, I was lucky to find out what kind of person he was before I got too involved.

Life is nothing but change and risks. The person who rejects you today may tomorrow have MS himself....or some other disease. Having taken care of two VERY healthy relatives who developed cancer and Parkinson's, I know that the healthy folks today may not be able to say that tomorrow. Those who get that (and there are many who do) won't generally let it bother them.

I believe strongly in marriage vows, even if you never take them -- in my relationships, in sickness or health isn't negotiable -- I don't walk away from people when they get sick and expect the same in return. And yes, I have walked open-eyed into relationships with men who had serious health problems and/or disabilities -- the same is true for a number of my friends and acquaintances (both male and female).

Go for it. If you were the healthiest woman in the world it still may not work out -- you can't know unless you take risks. Don't limit yourself!!