Well, dang. There's a woman in New Hampshire I almost got married to 35 years ago.

[Redstone]

We lost touch with each other, but then in 2003 I was on vacation in her town, and dropped off a calendar I had made with scenes of the Connecticut River with her mother, who happened to still be alive and living in the same house.

Her mother, who had never liked me, did nonetheless pass that calendar along to her, which resulted in me re-connecting with her, so many years later. (And no, there was no monkey business involved, hush your dirty minds; just lunch and a long afternoon of driving and shooting the breeze.)

Her mother just died. Here's the complication: Her husband (who is MUCH older than her, meaning he's past his mid-sixites) has never been comfortable with the idea that she and I talk now and again. Even though I'm NO threat to his marriage (I love my wife, and to be piggish but honest about it, Mrs R is a hell of a lot more attractive than than the woman we'll call Susan, though that's not her name, so I'm not about to be tempted into doing anything stupid), he is uncomfortable with us having any contact at all.

So: I've already decided that showing up at the funeral would be a bad idea, because it would get her jusband all honked off, even if for no reason.

But should I call to express my condolences? If he answers the phone, he might give her a hard time.

Should I send a card? If so, should it go to where she works, rather than at home? I'm thinking this might be the best bet.

Should I send him a card seperately, and tell him "Look, buddy, I ain't gonna steal your wife, even if I could, because I don't want to?"

Whatcha got for advice, my boon companions?

Redstone