Reply #23: Here's the thing - he thinks you conflate all awful things about conservatives/Republicans with HIM

[WildEyedLiberal]

Which, honestly, after you described pulling away from him when he tried to hug you and then unloading your anger on him in the OP, he was fairly justified in assuming you thought he was just as awful as everything you were railing against.

If you need some perspective, try putting the shoe on the other foot. What if he were the one who just couldn't contain his diatribes about "godless lazy America-hating good-for-nothing welfare queen liberal commies"? What if, every time he was pissed at Obama, he took it out on you personally? Wouldn't you assume that he imagined YOU to be "just as bad" as the caricature of "liberals" he's built up in his mind? And wouldn't that hurt, since YOU know that you are none of those things?

Now, I'm not saying that's what he actually believes about liberals, but all I'm saying is - it SUCKS to be on the receiving end of someone else's political ire because they blame YOU for everything that's wrong with the country. And, honestly, it sounds like that's what you're doing with your BF. Now, only you know if he really is a hateful bigoted homophobic racist corporatist. If he really is, then yes, you'll never see eye to eye with him. But if he's NOT - and just because he identifies as a Republican or a conservative does NOT mean he is, some people just do so out of old lazy family loyalties (well my dad's a Republican, etc) or because he's military and has some misguided belief that Republicans support soldiers more - then you are hurting him very deeply by projecting all your hatred of conservatives onto him. And I don't blame him for being hurt.

You just really need to sit down and evaluate how you're dealing with your politics with regard to him, and honestly reckon with yourself whether or not he's part of the problem. If you don't think he is, then you need to realize how your accusations hurt him. And if you're willing to work, then you need to find a way to be proactive with your progressive politics in a way that doesn't constantly accuse him of being part of the conspiracy to ruin America. Don't ever abandon your personal beliefs because of what anyone wants, but don't be so strident and rigid that you assume that everyone who doesn't agree with you is your mortal enemy, either. There IS a difference between conservatives who genuinely care about America and just have a different perspective - I have civil debates with friends like that all the time - and those who are the loud, ugly, racist hatemongers. Don't ruin what sounds like an otherwise good thing by confusing the two.