Reply #4: that's the gist of it - the "ideal" family is a loving family

[sui generis]

with a loving home, extended family (yes they are instant cousins and nieces and nephews to the bigger family) fun, kindness and decency, and a better future for the kiddos than an orphanage or someplace they're not wanted.

That has nothing at all to do with the sex of either or both parents. An ideal family doesn't happen just because the parents are opposite sex. It's something you have to work hard for, and gay families have to work hardest for against all the amazing bigotry out there.