Cave Crickets organize: Joementum '08

[BuelahWitch]

Cave Crickets are organizing in basements around the country with one goal in mind: drafting Joe Lieberman for another Presidential run. "We feel that Joementum has a chance to win in 2008," said cricket leader Morloc, during a phone interview.
Morloc states that crickets were behind Lieberman's 2006 Senate win. "Everyone thinks Joe came from behind because Republicans voted for him. Not true. Freedom Fighting Crickets hid in purses and pockets all over Connecticut on election day. As the victim got ready to cast his or her vote for Senator, their assigned cricket jumped out of his hiding place and hovered over Joe's name on the ballot. The voter would then try to kill the Freedom Fighter, which would make them place a vote for Joe." With bowed antennae, the leader admitted that many crickets lost their lives that day, but it was for good cause. "Most people feel we are of 'little economic importance' or a nuisance and can be stomped to death at will. We know Joe doesn't feel that way." He also states that Lieberman is sympathetic to a strange Cave Cricket habit: eating their own limbs. "Hey, Joe knows that sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to survive," sighed Morloc. "Even if it means destroying yourself in the process. He's our man."
When pressed, Morloc admits he expects to get something for initiating Joementum '08: the bottom half of the ticket. "Since Joe's an Independent now we're hoping to run him on the Cricket Ticket. That means he'll have to run with one of us if he expects to get the votes of the entire cricket population. Knowing how insects multiply, he could win by a landslide."
Senator Lieberman's office could not be reached for comment.