Waiting for test results

[njlib]

My Buster just turned 12 in May. My Cinnamon will be 12 in August. Buster's been an "old man" for most of his life, probably the laziest, most mellow, belly scratching loving dog I've ever had. Cinnamon's still got the energy of a puppy, except she can't jump as high as she used to!

Buster's age is definitely showing. I think his hearing is just about gone and there are times when he seems to be senile and forgetful, but he's still my baby boy. Well, within the last week he's lost a lot of weight, will eat and then throw up hours later, and is just generally more lethargic than he's ever been. He's always been by my side...if I'm on the couch, he's either on me or next to me. Same goes for when I'm in bed. The past two nights, he hasn't come near me!

I worked a double shift yesterday and when I got home this morning I called the vet and took him in for an x-ray. I started my new career as an LPN, after 14 months of unemployment, in April of this year and have been working all sorts of crazy hours, spending less time at home than I ever have in any job. The dogs have not approved and have been VERY BAD with getting into the garbage if it's not locked in the bathroom and pulling things down off the counter or table. I thought that maybe he had an intestinal blockage. Well, the x-ray showed that the intestines were fine...but his spleen and/or liver are enlarged. He said it was hard to tell from the x-ray if it was one, the other, or both. They're going to call me with blood results tomorrow and to schedule an ultrasound. He said if it's the spleen, they remove 2 or 3 a month at his office and it's definitely the lesser of the two evils. If his liver enzymes are high, then that most likely means liver cancer.

I know what I'm most likely going to have to do and have been crying for two days now. I've had him since he was 8 weeks old...he was abandoned in a vacant apartment with no food or water for two days. What am I going to do without my baby boy?? I made it through my 1st shift yesterday without getting upset, but lost it during the second shift when I was talking to the nurse upstairs. My next day off is Thursday, so I guess that will be the day. My eyes are so swollen and sore, everyone's going to ask "What's the matter?" tomorrow and I'm just dreading it! Can't tend to patients if I'm crying my eyes out.

I just needed to post...sorry to be such a downer. Anybody got any miracle cures or stories? I sure could use one.