Reply #5: i, on the other hand, revel in it. to know the darkness and know the light...

[NuttyFluffers]

i love horror stories (not splatterpunk as much, that being gorefests like Saw or Friday 13th and the like), love war stories, pornography, stories of gossip, seduction, and betrayal (another form of violence women do ALL THE TIME and never call themselves out on it), dark music, fashion, degradation play, morbid fantasies, et al. i think it's perfectly healthy to engage in it -- in a fantasy setting, with clear and defined boundaries.

i believe that's the key, too, reminding people that these things are monstrous if let outside of their cages; we only enjoy them within boundaries because if we let them free they torment and destroy us. too often we have people who get into relationships of all types and act out presupposed notions of what is expected of them. and i find those who are most exposed to the "darkness" as fantasy, who embrace it and can see its seduction, and its eventual emptiness, have a clearer view of it. in other words, they know when play is over and it no longer becomes a game. just check out a group of fantasy nerds versus regular jocular types -- fantasy nerds may have very bizarre and libertine views of relationships, but they know when things cross their boundaries and can stand up and say no. but those in jocular cliques, they are trained to imitate and conform to society's expectations; the game is and has always been real for them -- there is no understanding of its fantastic element, of its artificiality, of its escapable darkness.

that said, so much negativity can grind you down. so yes, after several session of Dimmu Borgir or Cannibal Corpse, i like to chill with puppies, unicorns, and rainbows. but to know the difference, and have a safe outlet for its expression, is quite healthy in my book. but what one's threshold for gratuity is another's moistened hem.