Reply #4: Personality Disorders are difficult to get treatment for.

[bling bling]

And like SFexpat said there is a lot of co-morbidity involved so, for example, a Borderline Personality can have narcissistic tendencies as well as obsessive-compulsive personality traits or even avoidant personality traits.

They're Axis II disorders so unless you can pay out of pocket or have a good insurance plan it's hard to find treatment for personality disorders as a primary diagnosis.

I really don't know very much about narcissistic personality traits. I do know it can be one of the most difficult disorders to treat because often the individual doesn't think he/she needs help (which would make sense).

Ordinarily, personality disorders start showing up in adolescence. The fact that she is 54 years old and you're just now seeing such strong signs would lead me to think you may want to try and rule out other things first.

Any life changing stress like Divorce can have a devastating impact on your brain. Depression is highly common after a divorce and irritability and anger and lack of energy are very common symptoms of depression. Has she gone through menopause yet? She could be dealing with hormone imbalances and that can definitely cause *major* mood problems and instability as well. She could be experience a double whammy of both of those things combined.

If she is being exceptionally rude, and moody, in ways that she wasn't before, it is a good sign that something is going on with her.

I just haven't figured out a way to get other people to seek treatment if they don't want to. When they're in an angry and irrational state of mind it really seems like it's everybody else who's got the problem. 'Why is everybody ELSE "making" me feel this way, sort of thing.' She honestly might not even realize it's her that's actually the problem and not everyone else. Probably other people here would have better advice than I as far as how to coax her into seeking help. I just don't know a good answer for that right now. I'd be as interested as you to see what advice others have in that aspect.