Reply #8: Well here I am still. Life goes on.

[Systematic Chaos]

I think the lack of Fentanyl really was turning me into an animal last week. I haven't been anywhere near as upset since I've been back on it, and at least during the day my pain level is back to something I can handle.

What sucks, though, is that when I'm sleeping the only way I can lay in bed is flat on my back, because I can't bend my arm (either arm) in the right position to fold it up under my head and lay on either side. Can't lay on my stomach for the same reason. So after laying almost perfectly still for several hours I inevitably get up with my arms and neck completely paralyzed from pain. It takes, on the average morning or if I wake up needing to go to the bathroom, about 3-5 minutes to work out enough of the pain from my joints to even get up. I don't know what to do to stop it, but I'm thinking about some kind of very light heating pad with a built in massage feature to keep everything from locking up.

I got my Medicaid application in the mail and I'm going to be filling it out and sending it off to a local office soon. Hopefully that will work out also, because even with the new COBRA subsidies the bottom line is that a) United Healthcare insurance fucking sucks and, b) I don't see how we can afford 1/3 of the COBRA payment given how much I still have to pay in co-pays and stuff not covered by UHC. So, we'll see.

On the bright side, I've been getting more movement and exercise in, and I'm committed to maintaining or even increasing the amount I do, as long as I don't end up hurting myself.

:grouphug: