Reply #30: I was in denial for a long time

[mdmc]

September 11th, 2001 was primary day in NY. I was running for office and had invested a great deal of energy in securing the green party line. The greens refused to endorse me (they liked, but I am a registered Dem), and I was able to run in a primary to secure the line. Actually, it wasn't a primary, because no one was running against me. It was an opportunity to ballot.

My name was not on the primary ballot. I needed people to write in my name. On Sept. 11th I was able to get 17 out of 21 registered greens to go and write my name in. It took many days of campaigning to get all these greens out to vote. It was a major coup and a great moment for me, especially after w. had stolen the election less then a year before.

I was on my way to work when I heard that a plane had hit the WTC. By the time I got home, the election had been canceled, and the world had changed.

All campaigns were suspended after 9-11, and we all pitched in to...try...to...do...something. One of the Dem candidates was a port authority cop. She lost over 300 friends / acquaintances in the attack. She disappeared into a constant funeral schedule. There were about 50 local deaths due to 9-11.

We never got the campaign back on track. We never had a chance of hell of winning (3500 dems, 4000 blanks, 8000 gop 500 cons = town voter breakdown), but we were going to be Democrats ON the green party line. We never were able to secure the green party line.

So a month later I lost the election. A month later, I lost my job. Soon it became apparent that the USA would go on the offensive. Bush, up to this point a mandate-less joke, now had a mandate for war.

So then it was 2002, and I was just coming to terms with the 9-11 attack. I was no longer in denial. Now I was incredibly depressed. I was numb and depressed.

To this day I am still a mix of emotions (as this post proves) when I talk about 9-11. I still get choked up and angry when I pass ground zero on the west side highway.

There was a girl from my county that died. She was the friend of my girlfriend's sister. She had worked super hard her whole life (p/t job and school), she went to college, and got a phat job with Cantor - Fitzgerald. I had never met her, but her obituary has stuck in my mind. She was fucking 24 years old. All her hard work (and success) down the drain. I still cry when I think of her.

I don't know what else to say. Things have never really been the same.