Reply #21: It just seems so very simple to me

[ninkasi]

By now, it seems so obvious to me that consenting adults should have the same rights as others, and that the sex of the people entering into marriage shouldn't be an issue. There is no valid reason to allow groups of spiteful, arrogant people to dictate how other people should live. If they don't approve of same-sex marriage, then they are free to marry a person of the opposite sex.

The arguments conservatives make, while they use various code words, all boil down to opposing gay marriage because of their religious convictions Since religion is not supposed to be used as far as making laws are concerned, they don't have any valid reasons to prevent gay marriage. They are free to oppose it personally, but only for themselves, not others.

In practice, if not in law, same sex couples are entering into relationships which are identical to marriage. It is law which prevents gays from automatically having the same rights as others. Government, under pressure from right wing religious groups, are preventing same sex couples from enjoying the same range of equal rights as straight couples. We have heard politicians making speeches, where they use such phrases as "I feel that", or "I believe", and then go on to explain why they won't grant equal rights under law to gays.

After all of the words are spoken, or written, and we strip away the excess phrases, it always boils down to using the law to deny equal rights to same sex couples based on religious beliefs. The ironic thing to me, at least, is that the law doesn't prevent gay couples from living in a relationship which is identical to marriage, except for the rights given to married couples. If the anti-gay folks are claiming that their objections are based on certain moral values they are most certainly talking about sex, and whether it's considered marriage or not, gay couples will have sex, marriage or not.

When any of us loses a spouse, or partner, if denied the title spouse, the pain is overwhelming. Imagine how truly shattering it would be, after building a life with that person, to have others prevent you from being at your beloved's side if they die, or be able to arrange funeral services, even if they have made their wishes known. I have three grown children. Two are married, one is engaged. If I were able to step in and overturn my daughter-in-law, or son-in-law's wishes, and keep them from being at their side in case of critical illness, I would be betraying my role as a mother who loves her children.

Along with all of the many, many valid reasons for making same sex marriage legal, the most compelling to me is that it seems sadistic to cause such unnecessary grief and pain to people in their times of need. Why should we, as a nation, practice such wanton cruelty? A society which values all of it's citizens, and encourages stable, healthy relationships, is one which will be strong, and healthy itself. It's long past time to stop denying equal rights to all of our brothers and sisters.