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Unfortunately, as with other social matters, it takes a long time for many to take the time to learn about 'new stuff.'
SO, the brother who was considered 'retarded' 40 years ago, we now learn, is 'dyslexic,' and has become a highly successful businessman. (Just one example.)
The rude person should understand the highly damaging effect of referring to someone as 'retarded,' compared with referring to the many 'new' and actual disabilities identified today. He should learn something about the jargon.
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