Reply #19: There isn't just one mind

[WilliamPitt]

There are several species.

Decentus Candefendideasicus: my grandfather belonged to this species. He was an Irish Catholic rock-ribbed old-school conservative, and was the best man I have ever known in my life...and he could defend all of his beliefs seamlessly. I didn't agree, but you have to respect a mind at work.

Uninformedus Minimus: the least dangerous of the three types of Uninformedus, the Minimus doesn't really follow the news unless the guys on his favorite shock-jock/sports-talk radio show happen to get into a topic. Minimus is a good person, works hard, and is "right-wing" because that's the default position for a brain that doesn't know any better.

Uninformedus Maximus: This species has sharper teeth but is still not too bright. An avid fan of Fox news, Savage, Scarborough and Jay Severin, Maximus also secretly loves Rush, but can't tell that to his Maximus buddies, because they think Rush is passe...even though they listen to him, too. Maximus appears to be fierce upon first encounter, but it becomes quickly obvious that his only defenses are lame Bill-O lines, "liberal media" cracks and a transparent "I'm a Libertarian" camoflauge that everyone can see through. Somehow thinks war is peace.

Uninformedus Berzerkus Rex: Masturbates to Ann Coulter, legitimately fantasizes about being a Minuteman shooting Mexicans down on the border, loves the war but believes he serves his country by sticking it to the liberals on the home front, is totally dysfunctional in any social setting, hasn't had a date since Winger went platinum, loves FreeRepublic, is despised by his co-workers, sleeps on sheets that smell like Satan's Own Asshole, thinks all gay people should be executed, and is generally the poster child for the value of childhood diagnoses of severe anti-social potentially-violent mental disorders...oh, yeah, and he can prove that Hillary had Vince Foster whacked by Janet Reno's trigger-men.

Fetusis Firstis: A simple breed. Votes straight-line anti-choice. Period. Supports the death penalty. Thinks G.W. Bush is on armchair-to-armchair relations with God. And is part of the single most dependable voting bloc in the history of democracy.

Biggus Buckus: Very few have seen this one. It lives in the rarefied air reserved for creatures with at least twelve digits to the left of the decimal on their bank statement. CEO of a defense corporation, or oil concern, or both. These creatures know what the real deal is, and use all the other species as useful idiot shock-troops to keep everyone distracted about gay marriage and abortion and the Ten Commandments and the like, while they make sure there will always be war and that they will always get paid.