Reply #52: not sure--there were a couple things but i don't remember what

[orleans]

happened first

growing up in white suburbia

seeing news about busing--the story/news i saw was black kids being bused and having to ride to school for nearly an hour. i felt bad for those kids who had to ride a bus for so long and go to a school so far from their home. (i didn't understand the situation--i lived within walking distance to my school)

seeing an ad or article about a man who turned the color of his skin from light to dark by taking some drugs (thinking wow--i could change the color of my skin?)

my grandma using the "N" word and me, as a child, telling her that wasn't nice
(i don't know how i knew--i don't remember--but i knew it definitely wasn't nice)

then later, seeing jesse jackson on the tv, talking to a small group of little black girls, telling them something to the effect of "you're black and you're beautiful" and then they said to him "i'm black and i'm beautiful." and i thought it was true--they were beautiful. absolutely beautiful

omg--just remembered. there was a tv show "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" and they did an episode called "Where the woodbine twineth" (or "you never believe me") about a little white girl who had a black doll she would talk to--and sometimes you could hear two voices as they played--at the end of the show they traded places and the white girl became the doll and the black doll came to life. i've never forgotten that show--and i finally got a copy of it a couple years ago. i was probably five and a half years old when i saw it. THAT was probably the first time i became aware of the concept of race