Reply #63: So you may grow in your understanding of gender dysmorphia:

[Bluebear]

Being transgender is not a choice. It is not a decision you make one
morning while sipping your morning cup of coffee. It is not a choice you make by flipping a coin and
assigning heads or tails. People do not decide to become a girl or boy any more than we decide how we
wanted to look ("Hmmm, I think I'd like to be tall.").

Being transgender has been linked to genetics through studies of DNA. Doctors, scientists and researchers in the Netherlands and Europe, along with some institutions in America and Canada, have found evidence that shows certain gender markers in the brain which transmit one gender identity while the body develops a different one. The technical term most used by schools of medicine and psychology is Gender Dysmorphia. Much can be learned about this “condition” on the internet, in books and by talking with trans people and their partners. As this is a very personal issue, please be respectful of boundaries and approach transgender individuals with respect and care. Do not ever ask someone transgender when they "chose" to become a boy or girl. Think of it this way: When did you "choose" your gender?

To prepare: own your lack of understanding – it is ok to not understand and request clarification.
Always approach any person with appropriate boundaries and respect, in the same way you would
wish to be approached when asked about a very personal issue in your life.
Own your discomforts – become aware of what makes you uncomfortable and understand that it is
yours, not theirs, to own.
Keep Reading!

http://www.ppmcc.org/transgender.html