I was raped but did not report it.

[demgurl]

I posted that I was raped (years ago) when we all posted about the Duke lacrosse case. It was traumatic enough that I actually blocked out the actual details and a girl I hung out with, at the party, I did not recognize a few days later. This girl was my ride so you would think I would remember her but it was just that traumatic. It was actually years before I could even use the word rape.

I did not report my rape because of a lot of reasons but mostly I was afraid of being examined as asking for it and the looks people might give me. I was sure I would not get the support I needed and the whole incident was traumatic enough as it was.

I had always wondered if I made the right decision. After the Duke lacrosse case I publicly stated I had made the right decision because people pointed fingers before all the facts were in and boy was the alleged rape victim judged. Several others who had been raped chimed in to say they agree and that we all would not report it if the incident ever happened again.

How many other crimes are committed where the victim is almost automatically knee-jerk blamed? Why does it matter what the person wore or their past history? If the crime was committed then the person is guilty.

This whole new thread came about from a thread earlier today. Someone posted about Rolling Stone writing about the Dateline NBC show 'To Catch a Predator'. There are always people in those threads defending the predator. Please watch the show before you post outrageous scenarios of entrapment since it either makes it look like you talk out your butt or that you have seen them but you are sympathetic to those who would rape a child and that just turns my stomach.

Reading that thread today made me sick. First of all, people asked who would watch those types of shows. It was alluded to, or said outright, that people who watch that show are sexual deviants who get off on it.

I watch that show and do so because of many reasons but none that include getting off on it. I find such statements outrageous and downright sick.

Then there were those who though the show was hilarious:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2571926#2572456

- It occasionally makes me think of the study that was conducted that showed how severely homophobic men often become aroused watching gay porn..

- It is a very, very funny and entertaining show, I must admit. The entire premise of the show is so wrong, and its artificial finger-wagging moral piety is so overbearing that I end up rooting for the sex offenders to get away. That host is a complete jackass. I'd love to see that little punk act pop off at the mouth the way he does WITHOUT security around to back him (I suspect he has too much sugar in his testes to really ......... There are some real creeps on the show, no doubt, but the Perverted Justice clowns and General Electric are way worse.

- And if the sex offender were to reply to the host by saying, "Well, aren't YOU special!", or "You know who made me do this? Could it be SATAN?", I think I would split a gut.

I am so aghast that there are people out there that find the crime of wanting to rape a child funny. There are some pedophiles on that show who have been arrested and convicted of things like this before and no doubt some of them have already raped children. I know what a lasting effect rape had on me, I can ot fathom what effect it would have on children.

So here I again have proof that I should never report a rape lest someone think I am to blame, the person was entrapped (after all, I am a woman and how could a guy hold his dick in his pants?) or that my whole story is funny. Even worse is finding someone who wants to stick there dick in a minor and finding that funny. I am totally offended and find nothing funny with the whole program or the would be child rapists. I am also offended as a woman, a rape victim, and a mother, to be questioned as to whether I might watch a show because I get off on it.

I do not know who you are as you do not know who I am, but please know that your comments have deep and serious consequences for people like me for whom your comments confirm I should never report a rape lest I get put on trial. Please know the ripple effect of your comments and the negativity you birth in this world. Please try and support those who might not be as strong as you are - like rape victims whether they are children or adults.

Thank you.