1. Anyone who knows anything about recent New York politics knew that hell was gonna break loose the moment that Governor Eliot Spitzer (or his "aides") had Republican Senate President Joseph
Bruno followed by state troopers in an attempt to discredit the longtime state politico. You knew that Bruno, who has accumulated an almost absurd amount of
power over his thirty years in Albany, was gonna rip apart Spitzer with all the force of a crazed wolverine tearing into a limping moose.
Republican Senator Marty Golden
said last year about Spitzer, in a remark that was foreshadowing in that scary "shit, they knew something" way, "There is a seedy side to this governor." Or as Baruch College Professor Doug Muzzio commented after Spitzer fired the aides who had Bruno followed, "Now that the proverbial blood is in the water, people are going to be looking for things."
So, yeah, this whole thing
stinks of selective prosecution through the Edwardian-era Mann Act and political games and all that
bullshit, but, at the end of the day, Spitzer does seem to have been paying prostitutes to fuck him.
The lesson here: If you're gonna lay small animal traps in the forest, you better make damn sure there's no bear traps in your backyard.
2. Nobody ought to give a fuck about why Spitzer fucked whores or what he did with them. After all, the hooker did say that Spitzer wanted to do things that might not be "safe."
But it seems that if you have, you know, used your office when you were attorney general to go after tour operators who
arrange for people to go to countries where they can easily get laid by hookers, as well as a prostitution ring
fronted as an escort service, then there's not a whole lot of wiggle room on whether or not it's cool that you like the ladies of the evening, no matter how much cleaner or more expensive they may be than the whores of Staten Island or Thailand. Call this the Vitter Rule of Sexual Hypocrisy.
Lesson: If you really think prostitution should be legal and you happen to be in a position where you can do something about it, then maybe you ought to, you know, do something about it so you can fuck all the hookers you want. But until the law's
changed, it's against the law.
3. None of this is a statement on whether or not Spitzer should stay in office. He has officially
fucked the goat. But many a goatfucker has stayed around. Call this the Vitter Rule of Short-Term Memory.
4. To answer a question he had, the Rude Pundit called a prostitute friend. Is there a qualitative difference between a three-diamond whore, who, at the Emperor Club, went for $1000 an hour, and a seven-diamond whore, who goes for $5500 an hour? The hooker equivalent of space flight? Her answer was, "The same reason people buy ugly paintings by famous artists or stay in penthouse hotel rooms for a night. Because they can. Status, you know."
And she assured me that, for only a couple hundred bucks, she could make the Rude Pundit experience weightlessness. Time will tell.
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