Reply #291: I Understand Your Attitude

[Hidden Stillness]

I understand your attitude, and have become depressed and basically hopeless about the hypocrisy and abusiveness of male attitudes about this issue, too. They all agree with each other, that they are not bigoted and hateful, have no sexual problems of any kind, no problems of any kind relating to women, and all is our fault. Note how quickly the porn-lovers' posts turn to vicious abusiveness (that I thought was not allowed on DU)--about how "stupid," "neurotic," "fascist," "hates sex," "hates women," "afraid of emotion," (funny, coming from them), blah blah, and they never face themselves or face what kind of a pattern it is, that women are offended and feel oppressed by it (and it is not because of "nudity," what a phony game), and all the pro-porn messages are between males, ganging up, cutting themselves off, and agreeing with each other.

I have been on threads like this before, going to an effort to assemble study results on percentage of prostitutes and strippers who were sexually abused as children (very high), percentage of divorces filed by women after the male became involved in porn (very high), on and on, and the really hateful males just hate you all the more, and attack all the more hysterically. The same attacks they probably use at home, when things do not go their way--"frigid bitch," etc. Depressing; and you are never going to win, because they hate more than we do here. For women who, all their lives, have listened to male members of their families, singing along to bigoted, anti-woman, abusive male rock and roll or rap lyrics, and looking at you, as if "their group" has now won, again, and "the bitches" are shoved in the shit again, and there is nothing you can do about it but learn the way things now are, to learn what oppression is,and now to be told that we are not even "intelligent" enough--and told by the bigot!--to discern what our life-situation is, that only they know, you realize then that it is hopeless. The "liberal males," as all women learn, are often, when it comes to us, as hateful as the "enemy"'s side.

Near the top of this thread, there was a brief exchange between the male posters MiltonF and lynyrd_skynyrd, that was very honest and open, and was great to read here; I wish it had gone on longer. This is the only type of male I feel any hope for--the ones who actually do not seethe with anger and hatred for women, as so many do who never have to answer for it; but who are willing to face their own lack of understanding (as we all have), and have a discussion. I would keep those males in mind, as the only thing to feel good about on this thread (besides the great fighting-back of the women). Anybody who denies the level of hostility and manipulativeness of the male porn-lover's attitude, should just read the kind of attacks against women, and the abusive, insulting language used, and get a clue. The pornography industry is one male handing over an unwilling woman to another male. That IS the attraction for this type of woman-hater.

"Men have looked on at the destruction of women like dumb oxen on a riverbank, placidly chewing the cud, while the ox-herd drowns before their eyes, not even dimly aware that they are in any way involved in her tragedy."--Edward Carpenter, 19th century Socialist/feminist/homosexual/Christian mystic author, admirer of Walt Whitman, quoted in "The First Sex" by Elizabeth Gould Davis.

A while ago, on DU, there was a really great study of the male/pornographic attitude, called "The Cruel Edge," or something like that. Of course, most will not face themselves, but have already decided that they are blameless, not offensive, etc., and that women are stupid, laughable, etc., etc., but anyone who wants to read a great article can probably still find it on the internet.