I been wondering about something.

[Jackpine Radical]

When FR has a fund drive, I wonder what they might do that would be as popular as the little Valentine hearts are around here.

First I thought maybe they could give little hearts to each other just like we do, but then I remembered that there is no love there.

Then I thought maybe they could give each other little crosses or those little car-fish or something, but then I remembered that they're really not into giving of any kind, unless it's giving to the rich, who obviously deserve it because otherwise God wouldn't have made them rich.

So then I started wondering why they would put up money to support RimJob in any case, and the only answer I could come up with was Fear. If they didn't have FR, they wouldn't have any place where they could go to discuss whatever Rush told them to think, and that would be scary.

So then I thought maybe they could give each other little Dittos. But that wouldn't work either, because they wouldn't want anyone getting more Dittos than they had, so they'd want to keep all the Dittos for themselves. Aha! I thought. That's it. They could just BUY the little Dittos and keep them for themselves. It would be a sort of conspicuous consumption that they could practice without leaving the basement.

At this point I became torn. If I put this wonderful idea on DU, surely some troll would see it and take it back to FR, and I would be responsible for the sudden financial success of that snakepit.

But then I suddenly realized that if my Ditto plan goes as well as I'm sure it will, it will only hasten RimJob's acquisition of the Dittoheads' allowance money, and once they go broke, Rimjob can just grant himself a huge bonus of all the money they sent in, shut down the site, and retire to Dubai.

So here it is, folks--the DU post that is going to bring down FR once and for all.