The anti-immigrant ranters [Socialist humor from Britain)]

[pampango]

"The panic about immigration is reaching an almost artistic level of irrationality."

http://socialistworker.org/2009/09/11/anti-immigrant-ranters

"These newspapers would compete with each other until they seemed to insist the number of Poles coming was more than the number of Poles in the world--but even then, they'd have replied, "Yes, well, that's because they're planning to bring 10 million of their dead to make use of our soft-touch spirit welfare scheme.""

"A landlord of a pub in Lincolnshire, who seemed otherwise charming and eloquent, told me, "The trouble with Poles is they walk in groups of four on the pavement, so you fall in the road trying to get round them." I said, "I'm sure just as many English people walk in groups of four on the pavement." He said, "Yes, but at least they do it in a language I can understand."

Which at least is an original way to be annoyed--to snarl: "I don't mind falling in a puddle, as long as it's with the right mix of vowels and consonants, but when it's with three or even FOUR Zs, it's time we took a stand.""

"For example, one paper told us that, "One immigrant is arrested every four minutes." But they must have been short of space, because they left out how the average for the whole population is one arrest every three minutes. Now they'll print a story saying, "Immigrants are refusing to adapt to our way of life by only being arrested once every four minutes. If they don't want to follow our customs, they should go back to where they came from.""

(Mark Steel is a comedian, a columnist for the Independent newspaper, and a socialist and activist in Britain.)