The great happy Vatican death spiral, By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Is it almost time? Can we finally start making preparations, send out a global Evite welcoming millions to a grand ritual down by the beach, a fantastic ceremony featuring copious amounts of fire and cake, dancing and vodka, Shakti icons and free condoms for all?

Verily, is the Catholic Church and its dank, nefarious heart, the Vatican, with its attendant red-robed apologists, unreformed child rapists and a leader who is, as Richard Dawkins rightly declares, "a leering old villain in a frock, who spent decades conspiring behind closed doors for the position he now holds ... a man whose first instinct when his priests are caught with their pants down is to cover up the scandal and damn the young victims to silence," is it safe to say this archaic and vile institution is finally nearing its end?

How grand to imagine -- even for a moment, even if you already sense it's damn near impossible, even if you think the Church still does some good in the world, somewhere -- how utterly uplifting to think that finally, after all these centuries of lies and oppression, intolerance and cover-up, that one of the most dangerous, insular religious monoliths in the world could come tumbling down in a smoldering heap, with something fluid, feminine and utterly transformational to spring up in its place.

You want a true second coming? A big, happy slap of the Rapture? There you go. ...

(click here to read the rest)

(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/04/14/notes041410.DTL&nl=fix)

Mark Morford's new book, 'The Daring Spectacle: Adventures in Deviant Journalism,' is now available at daringspectacle.com and Amazon. Join Mark on Facebook and Twitter, or email him.