How do I say goodbye?

[The Straight Story]

12/31/2004 she left us.

My mom. The glue that held our family together.

I made a video for you some months after you died:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGOq-M1dFHw

Here I am in 2010, crying on this mother's day missing you - not that I don't miss you every other day as well.

You taught me love, patience, and not to judge people based on their appearance.

You taught me more than anyone else compassion towards others.

You loved me no matter what. You put up with me.

You grew up in a small, mostly white town. Your dad was a mayor/police chief - a republican one. Your brother a liberal dem mayor who served Ohio. You? You saw both sides and kept an open mind and taught me to see beyond politics and my own idealism.

You took in people. When people in our small neighborhood were upset - because a family of color was moving in- you went to their house, baked them a cake. When you knew people, folks you could not stand in someways (family mostly) who needed help, you were the first one there to help them out.

You would wear the same old tennis shoes for years preferring to spend your money on those with less than you had. And you had so little.

I remember you telling me how after your dad died you got a doll on Christmas, nothing else, and how you treasured it and were happy with it.

Your own dad gave you a ticket once, because he would not play favorites. Your own mom, who was a school teacher - your teacher, held you back a year because you were not passing. You taught me to be fair. You showed me that people in power should not abuse it.

And when you were dying? That last night I saw you. I came to relieve dad for the night, I did not know you were dying. He took me out in the hall and told me - you were not hooked up to any machines, and you were lost in some fantasy world.

I came in crying, standing there lost. And you left that world and saw me. And you came back.

Told dad to send me home, that I should not see you like this. You saw me, and wanted to protect me, even in your last hours.

How do I say goodbye this mothers' day?

I don't. I say - thank you for being you, for passing on your values and love for my fellow human.

I say you live on, in me, in your values.

Happy mothers day.

And thank you.