An open letter of appreciation to Rush Limbaugh--boy he sure opened my eyes

[DFW]

Dear Rush,

I saw that you said that freeing that American captain off the coast of Somalia was no big deal, because all we did was to shoot some teenagers. Now this got me to thinking. A good number of American men in uniform fighting for you in Iraq (OK, not for you, for Dick Cheney, but you were cheerleading the invasion, so I’m not making much of a stretch) are teenagers.

Now I’ve seen some of those Marines and others, and they may have been nineteen years old or so, but they seemed pretty tough to me, and they certainly knew their way around the weaponry they were issued. If it weren’t for you, I would still be under this misguided impression. You have really opened my eyes up. Teenagers with guns are really just pansies, sitting ducks for anyone with a target rifle.

Who knew? I could have sworn those Somali pirates carried weapons because they were prepared to use them. It’s a good thing you are there to enlighten the likes of an ignorant member of the Democrat Party like me. NOW I know what we need to win these difficult conflicts. Obviously not pussy teenagers, nosiree.

We need obese, loudmouthed, cowardly, drug-addled fifty-somethings to go out there and kick some Anti-American soshalist kommist ass. I’d join up right beside you, except I don’t weigh half as much, and am drug-free. That’s a 4-F in your book. I’m ashamed to admit this, but I don’t even have a zit on my butt that strategically kept me from serving in Vietnam for the sly purpose of saving my fighting skills for Iraq 40 years later.

So while you’re over there getting yourself a few towel-heads for Uncle Sam and Christ, I just want you to know that we’re behind you all the way---all the way back in Texas, that is.

Your patriotic American,

DFW