What time on Saturday is the "rapture" supposed to happen?

[scheming daemons]

Saturday is a busy day, and I need to schedule my looting around a golf outing and the kids' soccer games.

Also.... Will the world end on Eastern Standard Time or Daylight Savings Time? I doubt the "bible code" took into account the invention of Daylight Savings Time.

These are major questions... What about Saturday Night Live? Will their show be cut short? I hope not before Weekend Update.

And what happens during the NBA and NHL playoffs if half the players are "assumed into heaven" during the games? That would potentially give an unfair advantage to whichever team has more heathens on it.

I also want to avoid freeways that day.... don't want to have to dodge a bunch of driver-less cars.

Hopefully, the majority of those that are raptured are boomers... that way we can save Medicare before the "boomer bomb" hits.


I hope my Mother-in-Law has lived a righteous life (though I highly doubt it). I wouldn't mind her disappearing.



These are questions that need to be answered, Dammit!