And You Call Yourself A Teabagger… Pah-leeze!

[20score]

Okay Mr. Eric Erickson, I’ll give you points for eschewing logic and being devoid of facts, and even give extra points for misrepresenting the other side - but that is not nearly enough in today’s wacky world. It’s fine to lie… no, it’s a requirement to lie in Teabag-land, but the types of lies matter. You can’t just cut and paste and mix and match, your lies should be so shockingly out of place with reality that people are knocked off balance. Now take Glenn Beck, that dude knows how to bring the crazy and really stand out.

I’m copying a few people who may not be familiar with the entire back-story, so please be patient while I let them in on my objections to your work. You and a couple of Teabagger friends, Josh Trevino and Mike Wilson, saw that people were standing up for fairness and social justice. They called themselves the Occupy Movement or the 99% and this made you naturally and righteously irate. Something had to be done and you were the men to do it! They weren’t taking orders from the Koch brothers and Fox News like all good grass-roots protests should - why these people standing up against your bosses. So, you formed a group called the 53% to counter them. Now, you started off right by attacking the 99%ers for something they never said – implying that they were asking for handouts and not wanting to work. Then you had people who were being screwed and were happy about it telling their stories. So far, so good. Then you got lazy and took photos off the internet and shopped them holding your message. That’s just lazy and easy to counter. Sure, you’re burying the bar, but not nearly deep enough.

I know how you feel and I sympathize. The golden age of Teabagging is gone and the teabags you see really are smaller than they appear in your rear-view mirror. It seems like only yesterday that screaming at a wheelchair-bound woman, or throwing change at a man on the ground with Parkinson’s was enough to make people take you seriously. Not anymore. You need to take Beck’s lead and go to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and dig for days to bury that metaphoric bar. The crazier the better, Beck always says. (Rumor has it people are taking bets on the day he brings up aliens. Not the ones from Mexico or Central America, the ones from Alpha Centauri.)

Your “I love being screwed by the rich!” message may resonate with some, but if you want to stand out, you need to ‘Bend it like Beck’ so to speak. He’s already said that the Occupy Movement people were going to “come for you and drag you into the streets and kill you. They will do it. They’re not messing around.” He’s also claimed that this is just the first stage of a world-wide Marxist movement. Stage two will be led by Van Jones – for some reason. Sure, normal people will hear those comments and say, “What the… That’s nuts!” But it’s hard to argue with, and that’s the point. If someone says to another, “The tax structure is inherently unfair” and the answer is “Excuse me while I masturbate to this picture of hockey skates.” How do you counter that?