Alan Keyes's sweat for sale

[Cocoa]

http://www.washingtondispatch.com/culture/archives/000472.html

Maryland resident Alan Keyes has officially thrown his hat into the ring to compete against Barack Obama for an Illinois Senate seat. Supporters of Ambassador Alan Keyes are resorting to some oddly fanatical tactics to raise a few dollars for the former presidential candidate's latest race.

In order to raise funds for Dr. Keyes' race, supporters are selling a napkin that had been soaked with sweat from Alan Keyes' brow. This is no joke as comedy writers couldn't make this stuff up.

The napkin containing the "Essence 'o Keyes" is for sale on eBay
<http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3924884114>.

It is described as follows:

[Downtown Hound]

1. Looks like the Repukes have thrown all their money

into Bush's campaign. Nothing left for poor Alan. I'll tell you what Alan, thrown in all of your teeth and you've got a sale. I'd love to see you try and give a speech with no teeth.

[Walt Starr]

2. This is trouble folks, there's ALREADY A HUGE BID!!!!

He's up to 8 cents already!!!!!!

At this rate, he'll be able to match Barack Obama's $10 million nest egg in about 28,000 years!!!!!!!

[johnfunk]

3. I'll pay him nine cents...

...to pack the thing in a plastic biohazard bag and arrange for its proper disposal.

Read more about Alan Keyes, fascist.

[Cocoa]

4. they should enlist Condi

she produced enough sweat this morning on Meet the Press to finance the whole campaign.

[johnfunk]

5. ROTFLMAO

So true...

[snippy]

6. ebaying DUers: How do I bid some of my dog's vomit for this napkin?

The Illinois republican party has brought to mind Proverbs 26:11

As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

[truhavoc]

7. This is against ebay policy for sellers!

We should have it removed, they loose their enlistment fee! ($.35 lol)

[Downtown Hound]

8. I don't know

personally I'm kind of curious to see just how much he ends up getting for it. If he gets like 40 cents for it, I'm going to be laughing my ass off. If he gets a huge sum of money for it, I'm going to be laughing my ass off at the stupid moran that would actually pay for it.

[tamtam]

10. It could be worth some money

How much would you pay for the sweat of the first Affirmative Action case sponsored by Republicans?. I'll give them 50 cents.

[Downtown Hound]

13. Careful...

You might actually end up outbidding everyone and winning if you're willing to fork over that much dough.

[snippy]

9. Please don't have it removed. It is the republican party at its finest.

[Window]

11. That's just plain nasty!

Ewwwww.

[smallprint]

12. How about his sweat-drenched Underoos

heh

[Khephra]

14. Maybe Keyes can get Ashcroft to bless him the nex time?

:evilgrin:

[Sabriel]

15. I'm waiting for a cup of drool from *ush

I'm expecting the ebay email any day now.... It'll be mine if I have to mortgage the...bike.

[Walt Starr]

16. OMFG!!! IT'S FAR WORSE THAN I EVER FEARED!!!!

The bidding has increased at a furious pace!!! 4 bids have been placed and it's NOW UP TO $1.25!!!

Doing the math, Keyes WILL be able to reach Obama's ten million dollar nest egg.

IT WILL ONLY TAKE 13,400 YEARS AT THIS PACE!!!!!!

[Rose Siding]

17. That cardigan must be warmer than it looks

[Peregrine]

18. He must need the work

When Keyes ran for Senate in MD, he paid himself a salary from his campaign contributions.

[Walt Starr]

19. That makes Keyes a PROFESSIONAL LOSER!!!! n/t

[fortyfeetunder]

20. And since the pugs are collecting bodily fluids,

in their act of desperation what else will they auction off next that can be sold on eBay?

Think of the Possibiities:
Alan Keyes' Used Undies and Jock Straps for Bid...
Alan Keyes' Toe Jam for Bid...

I'd cite more but afraid the mods might delete this message...

The sad thing is Barack Obama's autograph may yield more $$$....

[fortyfeetunder]

21. Someone is delusional..it's up to $10.50! n/t

[PurityOfEssence]

22. Aaah, I think I'm gonna hold out for the tears

You guys can scrabble for the blood and sweat.

[VoteDemocratic2004]

23. LOL

Thanks for the laugh!

[fortyfeetunder]

24. Now up to $20.00

Maybe I ought to bid for it so I can burn the damn thing...

[VoteDemocratic2004]

25. I have an Idea. Can they do an exorcism on someones sweat?

Allan Keys has the spirit of Uncle Tom hanging out in his body and if someone was to do an exorcism on him they could possibly draw him out.

[fortyfeetunder]

26. DESPERATION = 435.00 Max Bid 1AM ET

Poster said they'd max it out at 999.00. Well I think they are well on their merry way.