Teabaggers disrupt the Sermon on the Mount

[Joanne98]

Yesterday, Jesus of Nazareth held a town hall style meeting on the Mount of Olives in order to expound on his plan for spiritual reform. Egged on by sophists, epicureans and other rightwing philsophers -- a group of angry protesters showed up to shout down Jesus and he tried to talk to his gathering flock of interested listeners.

As Jesus opened his mouth to explain that "blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven," the raucus members of the crowd attempted to shout him down:

WHAT'S WRONG WITH PROFIT?!? THIS IS THE ROMAN EMPIRE! SPIRITUAL REFORM IS SOCIALISM!

Undeterred, Jesus persisted in trying to explain his ideas or spiritual reform:

Hesiod's diary :: :: "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth."

THE MEEK ARE WEAK! THE MEEK ARE WEAK! THE MEEK ARE WEEK! JUST SAY NO!

"Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy."

PILATE IS MY MESSIAH! JESUS HATES FREEDOM!

"Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil."

LIAR! KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY SHEKELS! YOU WANT TO KILL OLD PEOPLE!

"Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing."

JESUS WANTS TO RAISE MY TAXES! TAXES ARE THEFT!



"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also."

JES-HITLER IS IN THE POCKET OF THE TRIAL LAWYERS!


"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

JESUSISM IS SOCIALISM!

"No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon."

KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAMMONCARE! KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAMMONCARE!

Every time Jesus tried to speak, the sign wielding throng interrupted with a shout. The Centurians were forced to come to the Mount of Olives and restore Order. They arrested Jesus for disturbing the peace and disorderly conduct.

Amen.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/8/8/763733/-Teabaggers-disrupt-the-Sermon-on-the-Mount