The new Reagan celebration

[lil-petunia]

"Good Morning, America.

As I stand before you in front of the White Reagan House, on Reagan Memorial Boulevard, right next to the Reagan Lincoln Memorial. I think about this country's history. A Reagan-like history, which as is described so well in the Reagan Smithsonian Museum, which tells all of America how good it feels to be an American.

Just three years ago, the Reagan Memorial Pentagon and the Reagan Memorial World Trade Center, which used to be located on Reagan Wall Street, in the heart of New Reagan York, suffered a horrible terrorist attack. This proves one thing. That the Reagan legacy runs strong. We shall not be defeated, just like Lebanon in '84. No, we will take the fight to them.

As you know, The Reagan Patriot Act was passed to protect us from terra groups from all around the world, including those home grown. In fact, this very day, at Cape Reagan, in Florida, off the Floridan Reagan Keys, we will be sending up another Reagan-Keyhole satellite, one that will protect all cell phone users from terror. By reading each and every call, we will safeguard your freedoms by preventing any messages deemed dangerous.

Also, on the terrorist front, General Ashcroft will be speaking shortly from the Reagan Justice Building to describe a new, improved, Reagan - II Patriot Act. To commemorate this great man, this Act will a provision renaming every Main street in the country - Reagan Main Street. Also, later today, in front of the Reagan Federal Building, we will display the newly designed 1, 2, 5, 10, 20, 50 and 100 dollar bills, each of which will have Ronald Reagan's portrait on it. Not only will these bills be tagged to prevent terrorists from leaving the country with them, not only will they be able to be tracked by the new Reagan Keyhole Memorial Satellite, but they will honor our great leader.

I wanted to share with you one more bit of news. Laura and I have discussed this, and we agree that as a final act, we will change our names to

Laura and President George W. Bush-Reagan

to honor that great man. What a shame that our political rivals dare attack us when we are in mourning and try to use and abuse the good name of Ronald Reagan in a crass political message. We republicans refuse to get into the mud like them. We don't sell out, we don't
ride on the coattails of a man known as the second best president ever, after me and my god, who saved America from itself. My ranch in Reagan-Crawford, Texas will be renamed Reagan-land as well.

Now, I will be going to Camp Reagan for the weekend to meet with various foreign leaders. They will fly with me on the Reagan Air Force One helicopter from the Reagan National Airport and will stay until we solve the high oil price crisis.

God bless america and Ronald Reagan.

[lil-petunia]

1. uh huh

I get the feeling that peepholes may have their minds made up before they think.

I get the smell that peepholes will shower before they stink

I get the sense that peepholes will shy away before they link


I think

therefore

I am

[lil-petunia]

2. Karl Rove ordered TV ads merging Bush and Reagan

Of all the stoooopid things he could have done, leave it to Mini-Machiavelli to pick the worst thing.