Election Night in Montague - Ms T has the Last Word

[JapanJack]

Election Night in Montague

Ms T has the Last Word

As our scene opens, the sun is just about ready to set on the little town of Montague up in North Texas where the Red River separates God’s country from Oklahoma. Two sisters are talking on the phone. Wanda, the eldest, is driving her Dodge Ram on the way home from work and Molly, naturally the youngest, is out snapping green beans on her back porch.

“Hello Wanda, whatcha doing?”

“Hey Molly I’m all done at the mill and headed home to get Marvin Lynn’s supper. Say, listen; are we all gonna meet up at your house tomorrow night and watch Obama get his ass kicked?

“Far as I know it’s all on.

“Any idea who’s gonna be there?”

Well let’s see, besides me and Will, brother Bob and his shit ass teenager are going to be there - his wife too, unfortunately.”

“Amen to that. That bitch’s hobby is scaring warts off toads.”

“What to do Wanda, Bob married her drunk and he’s having to live with her sober. That’s what crossing county lines at two in the morning will get you.”

“Oh Molly, almost forgot, I’m bringing my neighbor lady and her boyfriend. That okay?

“Tommy Jo and Ray isn’t it? Okay, just let Ray know we have a bathroom in the house. He doesn’t need to sneak out back and pee on the bird bath like he did on the 4th.”

The conversation done, the sisters go about their business. Sister Wanda heads home to fix supper for her second husband, Marvin Lynn, and Sister Molly, (the younger one don’t forget) sets herself down to figure out what to feed nine people. Now don’t go thinking this is easy. When family and friends gather up in Montague, Diet Pepsi and pretzels don’t cut it. Nope, takes real food to feed folks that have grown up on chicken fried steak, fried okra, corn on the cob and fresh green beans.

“Whoops! Did I say nine people? Almost forgot Molly’s neighbor across the street. Everybody calls her Ms T because she taught school in Montague for donkey’s years. Pensioned off and widowed, her only relative is one son up in New York City. Like all small towns, old people are treated with an extra helping of respect.

Everybody thought Ms T was good people. So it was natural that she be invited to come over on election night and join the party. She didn’t talk much and that was to be expected – widow ladies weren’t supposed to jabber.

Bob and his brood were the first ones to arrive at Molly’s the night of the election. He, his wife Miranda and their shit ass teenager came around back to the kitchen door – naturally, they were family and didn’t want to mess up the carpet in the living room with company coming.

“Open up Sis, Miranda’s cold out here in this damn wend.

“God-a-mighty” blipped through Molly’s mind as she swung the screen door open.

“Come right in this house Ms Miranda, want me to put a log on the fire?

Now get this. It’s 72 degrees in Montague and Molly can’t keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

Miranda replied in an overly sweet voice, “I’d love a log Molly, but I’m sure you can think of a better place to put it.”

Prophetically, Bob mummers to himself, “long night coming!”

Bob and Miranda’s shit ass teenager immediately bounded past his Aunt Molly for the upstairs bedroom. First thing he did was switch on the Military Channel; the second was to realize he couldn’t wait for dinner.

“Hey Aunt Molly, I need something to chew on till supper.”

“Try you lower lip Alvin.”

Eventually, everybody’s there and they’ve all got their supper on paper plates in their laps sitting around the living room watching Fox talk about the mid term elections. Everybody’s a-giggle because Glenn Beck is on. If they were collies, their tails would be swishing back and forth like geese in heat.

Stone faced, Beck looks straight into the camera, pauses a moment and then picks up his chalk. Still not saying a word, he draws a huge circle on the board.

“This is a diagram of the election tonight ladies and gentlemen. It’s round because a circle is always round and I want you to know that what we will be seeing tonight is like that – a round circle. Inside this circle are little circles (and he draws a bunch of little circles in the big circle). Now watch what I’m going to do. This is a slightly bigger circle right in the middle of all the little circles inside the big circle. I bet you know who that is, don’t you. No? Well let me give you a hint. And he takes out a magic marker and colors it solid black.”

This is it ladies and gentlemen, a big black spot in the middle of all the other spots. Then he pauses again to let it soak in and follows with a somber pronouncement. “The Black Spot”, and his voice rises in excitement, “is exactly what’s wrong with America. Why, because it’s at the center. Get it? When something is at the center of a circle it means that it controls everything in that circle. Don’t you see it? It’s called the Social Orbital Beam, that black spot in the middle of everything is called the Social Orbital Beam. It’s like a lighthouse with a light beam orbiting around all of society, casting it’s spell on everything it touches.

Then, striding toward the camera with his arms raised over his head, he suddenly jerks them down with a flourish. “America, you are in the hands of a black spot at the center of your circle; the very Social Orbital Beam of your circle! Do you see it now? A black S O B is running America!

Ms T sitting in her wooden rocker in a corner cracks a rare smile but no one notices. While the others are dumbstruck with newly minted knowledge, she toys with a meticulously folded handkerchief in her lap and stares at it – lost in thought.

Mrs. Robinson is the first to speak, “Thank God we’ve got Glenn Beck! No one else could have ever figured that out.”

(Sorry, I forgot to tell you: Tommy Jo’s roommate, Ray, is actually a twenty something; and, well, Mrs. Robinson, it’s just what everybody calls her behind her back. It’s not that Ray isn’t a good kid, he is, but naturally there’s some resentment among the lady folk in Montague.)

So, Mrs. Robinson – wait, we better start calling her Tommy Jo – looks around a little embarrassed; she’s wondering if she spoke out of turn. But the feedback is all good; even Molly gives her a high five. It’s all, you know, like right after you’ve been baptized.

The commercial for Magic Jacks is over and Bill O’Reilly is interviewing Sharron Angle.

“Senator Angle (he laughs), excuse me, Ms. Angle, how do you think your chances are tonight?”

“First Bill, I want to thank you and Fox for having me on the show so many times. I mean the money I raised was absolutely essential for my campaign to stop all the tax increases and shut down Obama’s give aways to Wall Street.”

“It’s our pleasure Sharron. That’s what fair and balanced is all about.”

Molly’s husband can’t help himself and blurts out, “She’s gonna whip Harry Reid’s ass sure as god made little green apples. All this cockamamie spending on everything under the sun is gonna stop and those Mexicans will get what’s coming to them.”

“She’ll get that damn Obamacare repealed so poor folks can afford doctors and the rest of us don’t have to go broke.”

Even Bob puts in his two cents. “Just listen to her, she’s a real American. You can bet she’ll get rid of that damn Department of Education so kids can start learning again.”

There’s a hush after the outburst and the ladies all turn around and whisper, “Sorry Ms T, he doesn’t mean any harm.”

Ray’s the only one there who’s had a different take on the Angle interview, “I heard she said that people out of work are just lazy and giving them any more money is just throwing good after bad.”

They all looked at Ray. Nobody made a sound. It wasn’t like they were mad or anything, just kind of puzzled. Ray had said something that didn’t fit; and, well, what to do? It was an embarrassing situation but they all solved it by taking another sip of Shiner Bock.

“Hold on everybody, it’s Sarah. O’Reilly’s got her on the screen.

“So, Governor, you must be proud tonight – all those good Tea Party candidates giving Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi a run for their money.”

“Things are moving in an up direction. The candidates are, I mean, look at them, they are doing all the, Joe and Rand are making the country in a good way so we can all have our freedom and don’t, what Obama wants us to do. Give all the big government and the change you can believe in to the Terrorists, and Reid and Pelosi, there is not so much bad things in the foreign places that makes us look weak. Obama is going to keep all the change we have that he doesn’t want.

“It’s always inspirational Governor.”

The night wore on and all the numbers and maps and endless interviews were beginning to wear on the little group.

Miranda yawned, “Don’t we get desert or something for sitting around here all night?”

On queue, Bob let out an Oooooooooooshit!

Then it happened. Ms T spoke up from her rocker in the corner. Everybody looked at her and waited for what she had to say. Most of them smiled.

“Speaking of desert, I think I can fix you up.” And she pulled a box from under the rocker and set it in her lap.

“Chocolate cake - that tickle anybody’s fancy?” “I got enough for everybody.”

Molly looked shocked, “Oh Ms T, you didn’t have to do that. I’ve got a tub of home made ice cream in the freezer.”

Marvin Lynn, Wanda’s husband, started making sounds. “Umm, Umm, Good!” “Hush, Marvin, everybody’s lookin at you.”

“Put a cork in it Mama, Daddy wants some of Ms T’s cake with a spoon full of Molly’s ice cream on it.” (Wanda didn’t usually want Marvin saying a lot at gatherings. Mostly, because everything he said was connected to food and usually accompanied with a good belly slap. And Marvin’s belly was hard to miss.)

Okay, now here’s where we have to bring the scene to a close. Not the story, just the scene. That’s because things really start to change from here on out. When we pick up again in a second, all of the little group have met their maker, all except Alvin, the shit ass teenager who’s now a grown man.

As the only living eye witness to what happened that night, Alvin has sort of become the designated story teller. So, ready, here we go: According to Alvin, it all started when he realized that Ms T had spiked the chocolate cake.

Being a little more experienced than the rest of um, I knew that the old lady had spiked the cake with weed. Anyway, to be sure, I asked her. When she nodded her head, you should have seen all their faces.

Bob was the only one to put up a fuss. But everybody else was like, “Oh, what the hell, might as well enjoy it.” Later, even Bob came around.

We were all having a good time but Aunt Wanda was a riot. I’ve never seen her like that before or since. She kept asking Tommy Jo’s boyfriend to come out on the porch and tell her about the stars. Tommy Jo was too tickled to mind but Wanda’s husband seemed to think they ought to stay inside.

Anyway, we were all in good moods except for the old lady. There she sat, sober as a judge, rocking away and staring at us.

So then the old lady gets out of her chair and walks up to the front of the room, just like she was still teaching school and says. “I want everyone’s attention please.” Christ, it was like she thought we were all in the third grade again. That’s when I started to get a little freaked out.

“What if the bitch has us drugged so some guys waiting in a truck down the block can come steal our livers?”

Next she starts talking a bunch of stuff about wanting to know why we are the way we are. Why do we believe every wild story Rush Limbaugh throws at us?

I didn’t get all of it because, to tell the truth I was thinking about putting a move on Tommy Jo while her boyfriend was out on the porch with Aunt Wanda.

Then it dawned on me. The old lady’s a fan of Obama. Can you imagine, I mean how she managed to keep something like that secret. But I didn’t hold it against her cause I kind of like the guy myself.

She had to stop at that point because the room was emptying out onto the porch. Then, like I followed then outside and there sits Ray in the porch swing with Aunt Wanda on his lap. I mean I swallowed my cud, but Marvin Lynn thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.”

On and on, she keeps asking everyone questions. Like, “why do you believe everything you hear even when you know there’s no way it makes any sense.”

Mostly, she got giggles, but I remember Aunt Molly did answer her one time.”

“Listen Ms T we’re god-fearing, respectable folks and we make our own way in the world and pay our own bills. Not to put too fine a point on it but there’s some in this country that don’t think that way.”

“I guess you’re talking about black people?”

While all this was going on, Will had gotten himself horizontal by the end of the porch and was telling all he knew about astronomy. He was just about done when he decided to answer Ms T’s question.

“That’s right, black people and brown people and all those minorities.”

Except when Will said it he kind of stretched it out to say: mi – nor – i – ties.

This got a real strong reaction. Marvin Lynn said “God damned right”, even Ray and Wanda came on with a “right on brother.” Everybody clapped when they said that.

Now Ms T had settled down in the porch rocker and still hadn’t eaten her piece of chocolate cake, Marvin Lynn scooted up close, kind of humble like and asked her, “Ms T, if you don’t want that, I’ll be glad to take it off your hands.”

Of course Wanda heard it (for some reason she was keeping a close eye on Marvin Lynn, being that she was still sitting in Ray’s lap.) “Marvin! Marvin! Come over here! You get away from Ms T’s cake!

Anyway, the conversation went on about how white folks had to pay all kinds of taxes because minorities didn’t want to work like they did; and stuff like that.

Ms T just listened and finally said that plenty of minorities pulled their own weight and a lot of other people’s weight too. “Look at the military” she said and they all agreed. But when she said, “Look at Obama, he’s made it all the way up to be the President”, all of a sudden everybody got real interested in lookin at the stars.

Uncle Will eased the tension by starting up again about astronomy and how much better it was than astrology, because astrology was only right about half the time.

Ms T was having none of it. “You can let off on that star stuff Will. This is nothing but bigotry.”

“Bob let out a big sigh and said, “Thank God Ms T, I thought you was gonna call us all racists.” That got a good laugh. And even Ms T giggled.

There was a time that passed and the more that happened, the mellower we got. Even me, and I was used to the stuff.

Then I guess, I decided to throw in my two-cents. And I started telling them how one of the girls at school had to go off pregnant and get it taken care of, up in Wichita Falls I think it was.

Oh my God, it was like throwing a live chicken into a buzz saw. In fact it got so hot I almost lost my high. Everybody and I mean everybody had an opinion on that, and they were all bad.

“Miranda said, “Any one of God’s creatures that would take a knife and cut a little baby out of a mother’s body ought to be shot – and sent on his way to hell.

So then Ray pops up and tells everybody that all that stuff came about when they took prayer out of schools.

“Amen on that Ray, that and taking Christ out of Christmas.” came out of nowhere.”

Miranda kept on, “This used to be a Christian nation, now every time you even mention that, some Liberal slaps you on the wrist and says, ‘this is not a Christian nation, we have freedom of religion here’. Well, it was Christians that built this country and my God it’s still a Christian country far as I’m concerned.”

By now, more than a few needed to visit the little boy’s room and took a while cause Aunt Molly didn’t want anybody going upstairs to use her and Will’s bathroom.

Miranda asked her: “What you got in there Molly you don’t want us to see?” Aunt Molly told her, “I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.”

Oh, I got to tell you, that damn Ray waited for Molly to go inside and then snuck around back to pee on the bird bath.

I thought that was hilarious. Who in hell has a thing for peeing on bird baths? Only thing I can figure is he must have had a traumatic early childhood experience with his tweedy bird and thought peeing on the bird bath would bring it back.

Then I got to thinking. Humm - tweedy bird. That’s it! Young Ray’s not only morning the bird he’s back there skinning his lizard.

Intermission being over, Ms T was back at it, Only this time she was into poll taking. She wanted to know how many of us thought Obama was a Muslim, how many thought he was from Kenya, who thought he did the death panel thing and it he tried to brainwash kids.

According to her, we all failed the test.

Then Ms T started to pout. First time any of us had ever seen her do that. Spooky, real spooky, and I got to thinking, “Oh hell, what if we killed the old lady?’

Then somebody spoke up:

“What do I care if there’re a few rough edges on the stuff Palin says? She may not be as sophisticated as some but it doesn’t matter - she’s still one of us.”

Then she wanted to know who “us” was and Aunt Molly told her. “Us, for your information is all the people who believe in God and pay their own bills. Us, I mean we, excuse me, don’t break the law and go around thinking it’s so smart to look down your nose at people just cause they don’t think like you do.”

The old lady looked up, “Why do you think people look down their noses at you? I haven’t seen much of that going on.”

“Just look at Sarah Palin and what they did to her: ‘Here she is folks, poor dumb Sarah Palin fishing in a river in Alaska’. Stuff like that.”

“And look at Obama; he thinks he’s so cool. Never gets his feathers ruffled. Goes to the Gulf of Mexico and walks around on the beach in dress slacks. Christ, give me a break.”

“He and his whole bunch will never be one of us. Even a fool can see that.”

Miranda was getting bored with all the chatter and wanted to go back inside where it was warm. There wasn’t much to say on that subject. It was just another Miranda thing. So Bob gets her a shawl and that solved that problem.

Everybody decided to stay out on the porch and watch the stars. All except Aunt Wanda and Ray who were more interested in watching each other. And the old lady went on and on with the questions. But all the answers came back to the same thing, “Not one of us”.

Getting flustered with all this, she told the little group, “But sometimes they’re right; the ones you say aren’t one of you. Even when something’s fairly obvious, you still believe things people tell you that don’t make any sense – why?”

All this time Uncle Will had been laid out horizontal, staring at the stars and going on about the rings of Jupiter. But when he heard what Ms T said, he made a decision. Since he was already a famous astronomer he might as well be a philosopher king too.

He rose up on one elbow and told her it was just like a football game. Even if you don’t like the quarterback and think he doesn’t know shit from shoe polish, you still root for him. You don’t think about it, it’s just what you do. You root for your team! He may be a lousy quarterback but he’s still on your team.”

“But what if the quarterback keeps fumbling the ball? Don’t you ever want to change quarterbacks, even when there’s a better one ready to take the field?”

Then, of all people, Uncle Marvin speaks up, “What the hell Ms T, look around, we’re not doing so bad and once all those tax increases stop the jobs will come back and things will go back to normal.

And then he leaned over as if to give her a real piece of information (he made a bad sound when he did, but so what, people on dope don’t care about stuff like that.). And we all look alike, and don’t think that’s not important.”

“Okay Marvin, but don’t you want to help your fellow man – do what Christians are supposed to do?”

Some looked down and some smiled, but Marvin was the most direct, “no Ms T, no we don’t.”

“Why?”

“Cause charity begins at home and everybody has to do for themselves.”

“What about those that can’t do that because no one will give them a job?”

“There are poor folks’ hospitals and besides, Uncle Sam’s doing more than he should right now for some of the people that look just like Obama.”

“But don’t you ever get mad when big corporations treat you like you were nothing?’

“That’s why we’re changing things up in Washington. These new guys are going to put a stop to all those give aways.”

“But some of the people you’re sending want to take away a lot of what you depend on to get by. I don’t know about you Marvin, but I need my social security and medicare.”

“Don’t you worry Ms T, there’re all one of us. And I trust ‘em, not those thugs that want to kill babies and take Christ out of America.”

Things settled down after that. My Mom was inside helping Aunt Molly with the dishes and Dad was still watching the stars.

It was just me and the old lady on the porch by then so I tried to make some conversation.

“Heck of a nigh Ms T - Bet you never thought you’d have one like this?

“No, Alvin, I heard about what I expected to hear.”

“Must be hard living around people that all think different than you do.”

“Not so much, I’ve been doing it all my life.”

“So what are you going to do now?”

“Chocolate cake, Alvin; lots and lots of chocolate cake.”

Now this would be a good place to end the story. The ladies, except Miranda of course, have helped Molly clean up and all the denizens of the porch have taken their leave and ambled home, most of them in good spirits and all of them to enjoy one of the deepest sleeps of their lives. Ms T has said good night to them all and asked Molly if she could rest a bit before going home. Molly’s offer to walk her home has been politely brushed off with a “Go on inside Molly, Bob’s tired and I just want to sit here for a second.”

But things don’t always go the way you want them to go.

Wednesday morning, Aunt Molly walked out on the porch and saw Ms T still sitting there in the chair.

“Oh golly, Ms T let me get you home; bless your heart, it serves you right, getting everybody high like that.’

But Ms T had already gone home. It probably happened some time after they all left. The sky would have been clear and the stars over Montague would have sparkled all night till the sun replaced them with an even more glorious wonder.

Ms T looked comfortable, just like she had gone to sleep and was having the greatest dream. Maybe that’s how it was? She went dreaming of so long ago when she was young, a girl, and how she and her husband were young together. When her son came along and how sad they were when he went off to New York. She may have remembered teaching the third grade, could be she remembered the things some of the people that she spent her last night on earth with did when they were in her class.

Ms T had experienced clarity not uncommon for those whose last moments are upon them;

She was old enough to remember a time in America when people got along with each other, at least better than they do today. When you could turn
on the radio or television and hear real news, not sparring media personalities driving wedges ever deeper between folks for the sake of ratings. Elections were just as rancorous but were over when the votes were counted and the losers didn’t bring government to a halt out of spite.

She probably remembered the tremendous racism and bigotry of the post war years when minorities were denied rights guaranteed them by the constitution. Some pride would have been on her mind as she thought of the movements of many great men and women who worked within the system to right those wrongs. America was a place where democracy met every challenge and those that used force were eventually brought to justice.

No one jumped up in a joint session of Congress and called the President of the United States a liar. Mobs did not parade in the citadel of democracy with signs displaying racism in bold letters. Ideologues existed, but never overcame the inner strength of the millions of ordinary Americans who have proven over and over again that they are the guardians of democracy, not political parties.

As the very last seconds ticked away, I think she would have drawn her thoughts to this conclusion:

No matter how well intentioned or how sure of their cause, those who dig in their heels and say to social progress, “this far and no further”, must be overcome. There can be no compromise or platitudes espousing the value of bipartisanship in the name of expediency. The moment calls for firmness, not temerity; commitment, not irresolution and action not inaction.

All living things and their institutions earn their right to exist by comporting to the rules of nature and whatever whims and follies may be tossed onto their path. The universe will tolerate false steps, bad timing and all manner of faults endemic to living things, but its judgment of those who wring their hands and march backwards is extinction.

Author’s Note:

President Obama is a historical President. He has proven himself honest, competent and committed to an agenda he rightly sees as essential to the nation’s well being. But he suffers what may be termed manic-practicality. There are many examples of this: willingness to trade the public option for a half loaf, or no loaf if Republicans have their way; willingness to compromise with men who hate him and everything he stands for; and willingness to expand a war against the better advice of those who elected him.

The critical strategy failing of his Administration has been the assumption that hard won victories in the halls of Congress will translate into electoral success. Creating a law before convincing the people of its need is putting the cart before the horse. And jeopardizing his presidency for the sake of his agenda, however noble this may seem, will ultimately result in the loss of both.

The President must accept that Republicans are his sworn enemies, not just a contrary opposition. Any well intentioned cajoling or appeals to their better nature will only be met with derision and loss of respect.

His prospects for success in 2012 will be in direct proportion to his success in exposing and discrediting the Republican Party. The rest of his agenda may have to wait for his second term.