Strib op-ed: Democrats need to stop playing by the Nice Girl rules

[question everything]

When Gov. Arnold Schwartznegger threw a hissy fit and called Democrats "a bunch of girly-men, " I just rolled my eyes and wished it was true. Because if "girly-men" is code for bitchy, femmy gays, well, those guys are usually far more fearless, cutthroat and deliciously irrepressible than most Dems. No, the truth is worse. Democrat haven't been acting like girly-men. We've acted like girly-girls, specifically the dreaded Nice ones.

Which means for the last 10 years or so, we Dems have kept our heads down and fearfully followed Nice Girl rules like play nice. Wait your turn. Watch your mouth. Never offend. Never be angry. Apologize early. Apologize often. Put others first. (Focus on swing voters!) Speak cautiously ... because otherwise, you could come off as like ... aggressive, you know? Which could be, like, a turnoff?

(snip)

In her new business book, "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office," psychologist and executive coach Lois Frankel lists 101 mistakes women make that sabotage their careers. Her list is a virtual summary of Democratic leadership in the last decade including: acquiescing to bullies, being invisible, playing the game safely and within bounds, allowing themselves to be scapegoated, apologizing, accepting faits accompli, hedging their speech with nonwords and qualifiers, being overly concerned with offending others, tolerating inappropriate behavior and more.

(snip)

Yet in all fairness, neither Daschle nor other Democrats just woke up one morning and decide to neuter themselves en masse. It took years of intense pressure, from talk radio, right-wing think tanks and the mainstream media, plus the Democrats' own dimwitted consultants, to browbeat huge numbers of people into such self-defeating behavior

Even worse, while Democrats were being bullied into their loser Nice Girl role, Republicans were given the far more fun and freeing Bad Boy part. This set up our current and bizarre "Republicans are from Mars, Democrats Are From Venus" form of political culture in which Republicans are allowed to rant and rage, apparently as their God-given right and patriotic duty. But woe unto any Democrat who even raises his voice, as Howard Dean unhappily discovered on that cold caucus night in Iowa.

More..

http://www.startribune.com/stories/1519/4964133.html

Lynnell Mickelsen is a writer in Minneapolis.

[NMDemDist2]

1. kick n/t

[belle]

2. nice.