Here is how I would imagine it would go had the A.I. judges had a shot at Shrub post-conference (it would probably be a more fair assessment than the mediawhores):
Randy Jackson: What up, dawg? How ya feelin? How ya feelin?
el-Shrubbo: Hey there slim, I'm doin good, I'm staying the course.
Randy Jackson: A'ight. That wasn't your best peformance, dude. You didn't directly answer a single question, dawg, you were just kinda all over the place, I didn't know what to make of it. It just wasn't there for me tonight, dude. I just wasn't feelin it. Paula?
Paula Abdul: George, I really like your outfit tonight, that tie you picked out is just really wonderful, I could feel your energy. You were a little pitchy in a few spots, and I agree with Randy that it wasn't your best performance. But you're the President, and you're just so cute!
el-Shrubbo: Thank-ya, Paula, this is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
Paula: Simon, what did you think?
el-Shrubbo:
Yeah, Simon, bring it on.
Simon Cowell: I don't know what to say to that. Absolutely dreadful. . That was just horrendous, you made absolutely no sense whatsoever. William Hung could do a better job of explaining the continuing violence in Iraq. You're done in this competition.
el-Shrubbo: Who cares what you think? I'm a war president! 9/11, 9/11, terror, not my fault, terror.
And then Rummy, Condi, Cheney, and KKKarl Rove would all come out and join Shrubby for a rendition of "California Dreamin."
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