Creative Writing: What If * Repented?

[Unperson 309]

"Uhh.. Mmmmm! NO! No! Aaagghhh-Huh?!" George Walker Bush bolted awake from the nightmares, tangled in the sweat soaked sheets. "Oh, mah Gawd! That was... Whut DAY is it?!" He scrambled from the bed, ignoring the tranquilized bulk of Laura next to him. Gingerly, he felt the sheets where he had lain, thrashing in terror... dry. Whew! No lecture this morning... but the dream threads lingered.

Cautiously, George tiptoed to the mirror. The gin blossoms over his nose, chin and cheek glowed softly in the relentless glass... but the hideous sores he had dreamed of were not present. Bush shook with numb gratitude. This dream had been one of the worst he had had since attaining the Presidency. Were these warnings? If so, this one had been a shriek into the shallow depths of his conscience. What if they came true? George shuddered and felt a slight warmth in his pajama bottoms... oh, no! And he'd been so *good* all week... He bolted toward the bathroom.

***

As President Bush dressed (taking a certain delight in the Presidential seal cuff links. Cheney had told him that even after leaving office he could still wear these!) he thought about the nightly horror that was his semi-drugged sleep. Even the good stuff that his doctors gave him no longer eased the fright. Every dream seemed worse than the last one. Every one had, as its central point, the increasingly urgent message that George Bush MUST face up to his sins and to the evil being done in his name. "Ah am Pres-i-DENT of the YEW-ni-ted STATES!" He stood as tall as the lifts in his expensive (and already scuffed from that last fall) dark shoes would allow. "I *am*! Aren't I, Mommy?"

"Stop calling me that, you useless sack of.... That was REAGAN'S shtick, Moron, not *yours*!" Laura stalked away like an offended cat.
George sighed. "I am! I am *too* President!" He knew what he was going to do wouldn't be popular, but he had decided. He looked at the cuff links again to remind himself. "I gotta do it! Davey had to do it when he got Goliath in trouble!" he said under his breath, remembering his favorite TV show. Davey never got lectured on having a dry bed. Bush sighed again, wishing Goliath was with him. Squaring his shoulders he marched into the Oval Office. "Gentlemen," George Bush started in a firm tone, "The time has come. we must stop misleading the American people! This whole thing has gotten out of control and since I'm the President (here he forced himself *not* to look to Rove or Cheney for confirmation) I have to be the one to fix what we broke! Call the Press Corps! I intend to make a clean breast of EVERYTHING!"

Carl Rove, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld looked at each other in shock. Not NOW! Not when everything was almost in the bag!
Cheney held out a hand. "Mr. President," he said. ...


FINISH THIS STORY! What happens? C'mon folks, let's see what shakes out!

309

[BlueEyedSon]

1. He offers to stand trial at the Hague and turns evidence on all his

co-conspirators.

Then, the American People (as well as much of the rest of the world) lived happily ever after.

The End.

[left is right]

2. "Mr. President," he said. ...

"let's put our heads together and strategise about the most effective way to do this.
Cheney then extended his arm and Georgie thought he was going to receive a comforting embrace. Instead Cheney grabbed Georgie in a neck lock. Rove and Rumsfeld snapped into action. Rove took a hypodermic needle full of a strong, experimental psychotropic drug from a case in his vest pocket. Rumsfeld, meanwhile, pulled the now struggling Bush's pants down. Rove jabbed the needle into Bush's bare ass. He pushed the plunger and slowly the thick amber-colored solution seapped into Bush's veins. In a matter of seconds, Bush lay on the floor twitching.
Then Cheney said, ...

[Gold Metal Flake]

3. It's not unusual for a criminal to suddenly "get religion".

However, I am never fooled by it.

[Deb]

4. with a cock-eyed sneer

"Congratulations on your dry bed. Uh, Dubya, do you suggest we all don incontinence undergarments? You know... before you speak?"

The President looked resolutely at Dick and replied "Depends."

Everyone rushed from the room, only to return later with bold and robust letters of resignation. The entire bush Administration had, in effect, crapped the bed.

World peace soon followed.

The End