Anybody get this RW email supposedly quoting Andy Rooney?

[matcom]

:puke:

This is what Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:
"I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big
campfires. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family,

not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to

give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer.

You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one

is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why

there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!

ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia,

it is an opinion.

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers.

The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the

United Negro College Fund,
Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America.

Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine,

White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens.

Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are
different, weird, or tick me off. When 70% of the people who get
arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black,

that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes,

a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact,

if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the
countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry self if

you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand

the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified

for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks,

etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars

to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and

tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a cause is more dangerous

than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to

make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better,

and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy who invented the Internet to help you.

"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until

that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth

as you serve me french fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a

single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be"African-Americans"?

Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American

because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe.

I am proud to be from America and nowhere else. And if you don't like my point

of view, tough. DON'T PASS IT ON!!"

While life may not be the party we hoped for, while we're here we might as well dance.

[chiburb]

1. Rooney himself denied it in 2003, saying:

About a year ago, I became aware of a more serious theft of my name and it is so hurtful to my reputation that it calls for legal action against the thief. Hundreds of people have written asking if I really wrote the 20 detestable remarks made under my name that have had such wide circulation on the Internet.

<...>

Some of the remarks, which I will not repeat here, are viciously racist and the spirit of the whole thing is nasty, mean and totally inconsistent with my philosophy of life. It is apparent that the list of comments has been read by hundreds of thousands of Americans, many of whom must believe that it accurately represents opinions of mine that I don't dare express in my column or on television. It is seriously damaging to my reputation.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney4.asp

[bushisanidiot]

2. Yep, it's a hoax. I think Snopes has it listed as a hoax and an actual

quote from Andy Rooney about how mad he was that someone was using his name to push their own political agenda..

[mark0rama]

3. Yep, it's made the rounds. And it's fake.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney4.asp

I'm no big fan of Rooney, but he's nowhere near this right-wing, and he's been quite harshly critical of the Disaster Monkey administration in recent months.

On edit: Oops, wrong Rooney debunking. Corrected link.

[Katarina]

4. No one I know

would dare send me such garbage.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney4.asp

<snip>
Claim: Commentator Andy Rooney explains his political views.
Status: False.