...napkin under my Ebay registration name:
"Can you verify through DNA tests or other validation means that the actual napkin you have for sale has been authenticated as containing the sweat of Alan Keyes and was in fact recovered immediately following his announcement? Can you also post the authentication document (s) here in the Ebay ad? If people are to bid on a potential political relic, they should at least know that it has been validated that is authentic."
I'll let you all know what reply I get.
Here are other questions that were asked so far.
Questions from other buyers for this listing
Q: Too late now but you should have considered cutting it into halves, quarters, eighths, or whatever and selling the pieces. Who knows how much you could have raised! Answered on Aug-10-04
A: Yeah, I've heard that. Live and learn.
Q: I'm curious as to why Drudge has not yet passed a link to this fascinating item. He's usually right on top this kind of phenomena. Alas, he does so much for a one man operation. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Don't know. But what I do know is that WorldNetDaily.com was first to run this story and their article pretty much launched this project. I've done about everything I could just to keep up ever since.
Q: Did you know that yesterday morning one of the news persons on wgn news in the morning asked Alan Keyes what he thought about the sweaty napkin for sale on eBay. He said he thought it was a very unique way for someone to earn bread from the sweat of his brow. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Cool. This is the first I heard of this. When I hear stuff like this, I love Alan all the more. Isn't it great to be alive in America?
Q: Iam currently the hugh bidder at 450. CC over the phone ok or how ouwl dyou like to be paid should I win Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Any fan of Alan Keyes can pay however they want. Personal check, company check, certified check, not matter. I'm just planning on handing it to Alan anyway. But did I understand you correctly, the bid is at $450? The last I checked it was around $250. Are you serious? Cool. By the way, the Washington Post is supposedly running an article with a picture on this project. If you prevail, I hope you are willing to be open to doing some media interviews. You will be the man of the hour...
Q: love you alan. Saw you debate Alan Dershowitz at F&M college in Lancaster, PA. Will bid everything that I can donate sir Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Hold on partner...As much as I'd like you to bid early and bid often, I must confess: I'm not Alan Keyes. (Check out my picture. I'm the guy holding the napkin. I look more like Sam Waterston of Law and Order). But I am donating the proceeds up to $1000 to Alan's campaign. Over that amount gets tricky. I'm awaiting legal counsel on that.
Q: me again, Texan Tom! **** URGENT **** PLEASE make sure you shipping vendor provides VERY DETAILED tracking info 4 your financial protection. . Good Luck! Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Thanks for the tip. I'd hate for someone to claim I never shiped the napkin. For that matter, I better not pack it in wadded paper or napkins for that matter. It might be difficult to distinguish the gold from the dross.
Q: As much as I support and have supported Keyes in every endevour, I find myself so excitdd to see him as a senator and noit as pres. While he so soo conservative, (I am too, and many bush desiciojns have angered me, IE grant for prescrition drugs, not outlawying stem cell research, not lowering taxex even more, and most of all. mot fighting harder for our supremme court nominmees. Our federal spending is outrageous, but I am on a tangent. May we all hope that Bush gets his second terms and listens to the Junior Senator for Illionois and the great contviction on whiuch he speaks. Alan amazes me and I wanna buy this just to contribute. I love George Bush, and we all shouold, don'tr get me wrong. But Mr. Keyes, speaks for me. I love you and your wonderful familty sir and have donated and voted evertytime you<'ve run for presd. I had to write you in for PA last time because you weren'ton the ballot. I saw you speak at franklin and marshall college a few years ago when you deb Answered on Aug-09-04 [br /> A: It's been said that politics is the fine art of compromise. But apparently no one has expained that to Alan Keyes. He speaks his mind is such a way that he brings others up to a higher standard rather than lowering his standards. But perhaps the most astonishing thing is that people, formal liberals included, actually want to rise to the occasion. We must remember that liberals are not our enemies. They too are Americans but sometimes they've seen so much compromise and hypocricy in life that they bought into some tenants of "tickle your ear" liberal philosophy. Alan is the antecdote to liberalism.
Q: I too was at the Wellington on Sunday as part of the overflow parking lot crowd. How blessed we are to have Ambassador Keyes represent the people of Illionois! Creative fund raising in the true American spirit. How very clever. First heard this on WLS talk radio Monday afternoon. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Wasn't it uplifting? When Alan Keyes speaks, it makes you glad to be an American, delighted to be alive and willing to march behind the principles that exude from every oraface in his body, thus the easy job of collecting his perspiration. Hey, call me an opportunist, but call...
Q: Did you know that the disappointed bidders who don't win this auction can also donate to Keye's campaign at his website ? The URL is
http://www.keyes2004.com They accept donations through Paypal just like ebay in case they'd miss having that experience too. I contributed last night and it was a great feeling! Good luck! Answered on Aug-09-04
A: No sweat? Just a straight donation? Cooool.
Q: Whatpercentage of this $$ is going to Alan's senatorial campaign ?? Answered on Aug-09-04
A: 100% of the proceeds up to $1000 are earmarked for the Keyes campaign. However, I still don't know what to do if the bids exceed that maximum legal limit for a single federal candidate. I'm open to suggestions.
Q: Good luck!!!...I assume DNA testing is not needed? I am soooo tempted to bid, but, alas I am still waiting for Kerry's Band-Aid For his third Purple Heart to come up. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Funny. But actually, with genetic technology advancing so quickly, who is to say how many little Alans there might be in that sweat. Sound far out? If you would have shown me 20 years ago that today I'd have nearly 10,000 "hits" in one day on the "world wide web" on "eBay," I'd think I was having an acid flashback from the 60s. No one in their right mind would buy stuff on eBay, especially not...
Q: Get ready for another bump from Hume's Washington Grapevine replay at 12:30 est..... Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Thanks. I haven't seen anything on this topic on TV yet. I think I'll tune in now. I can use a break from my desk.
Q: This Oregornian supports KEYES as well. We don't need another Democratic Senator playing JUGGERNAUT in stopping progress for the people of this country. Or VP Cheney won't be only one telling Senator Leahy to go F*&K Himself. They should be working for the people, not powertripping. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Glad to have such passionate support from Oregon. It is a truly beautiful state. This is the most ideologically polarized Senate match up I have seen in my 45 years in Illinois. Obama reminds us that his friends josh with him saying he is to the left of Mao Tse Tung. You know what they say about things said in jest...
Q: Is the napkin still functional -- I mean, can I still use it for its intended purpose? After all, a person might as well get his money's worth! Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Still functional? You expect the napkin to still be functional? Are you kidding, at a trivial $275 you can't expect to have everything.
Q: Hooray for you! I was there, at the very warm Wellington on Sunday to hear Ambassador Keyes speak. I commend you for thinking of such a unique way to raise much needed $ for his campaign. Illinois needs him! God bless you & Ambassador Keyes! Answered on Aug-09-04
A: That was so sweat...I mean sweet, I almost feel like giving you the napkin free!
Q: This Texan supports Ambassador Keyes! Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Well spoken. I only wish you can vote. It's ironic. According to Illinois law, you can run for office in Illinois without living here until the day of the election but to vote, you have to both live here and be registered in advance. Go figure. Although when Mayor Richard J. Daley was alive, there was an unofficial saying in Democratic Wards: "Vote early; vote often." And dead men were allowed to vote. But things have changed in Chicago...somewhat.
Q: If I win this is the napkin still wet? I would love to hurl it at John Kerry and watch it stick! Figure with all the crap he is throwing at President Bush it would be nice to return the favor! Answered on Aug-09-04
A: The napkin is still wet, but by the end of the 10 days of the auction, it may very well be dry. It's already at least 25% less wet than when I bagged it. But I wouldn't necessarily advise hurling it at Mr. Kerry's face. I'm concerned about the possible chemical reaction between certain strains of Botox and sweat. We wouldn't want John's face to freeze in a permanent Scary Kerry pose...or would we?
Q: Hey, I was an early bidder, and it was getting play at a very liberal website, and a bunch of us bid just for the cheesalicious value! Answered on Aug-09-04
A: This is America. Why not! You are a true perspiration-- I mean inspiration to me. Glad to have you as one of the early bidders.
Q: Can you post a picture of the item?? Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Yes. Per your request, I'm attempting to upload a picture of me holding the picture. This shouldn't take more than 15 minutes.
Q: It looks like it has been all over the media, online and mainstream, since way before Fox News reported it. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Where? I haven't seen it anywhere other than on WorldNetDaily.com and on WashingtonDispatch.com.
Q: You were mentioned on the 'Quinn in the Morning Show', with enthusiasm, this morning. www.warroom.com Answered on Aug-09-04
A: You've got to be kidding! Is the the same Quinn that has a co-host named Rose? Rose is wonderful. They used to be on a big station in Pennsylvania, didn't they? What ever happened to Jim and Rose??? Quinn is a patriot's patriot, if we're talking the same Quinn.
Q: Why not donate any overage to President Bush's campaign? After all Mr. Keyes stands a better chance at being elected with the Presidents re-election! Kerry is Skerry!! And we don't Wanna Obama!! Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Obama, your momma; so right you are. The coat tail effect of a president is vital to other candidates in the field. But, again, I feel it is Alan Keyes' "sweat equity" so it should be up to him where the money goes.
Q: Why not donate portions of the remainder of the auction proceeds to other Republican senate campaigns? (with the exception of Arlen Specter, please) Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Hey, what a great idea! I didn't think about that. If the bidding passes $1000 and I can't give it to Ambassador Keyes, I suppose I could contribute it to some other candidate. But I suppose the question is, who would Ambassador Keyes want me to contribute the money to? After all, he sweat hard for this money. The sun beat hot in front of the Wellington Restaurant, where the overflow crowd was doing their own fair share of perspiring. It was even hotter inside the packed, yet electrified gathering. If anyone knows how to reach Ambassador Keyes, perhaps you could ask him who he wants to be the recipient of his "sweat equity."
Q: Do you think any other news organizations besides Fox will consider it newsworthy, or will their bias prevail? Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Actually, no one at Fox even called me. Whatever they are airing, they are probably doing from just looking at the eBay page. As far as I know, the first news outlet that ran with this thing was WorldNetDaily.com and from there it got a life of its own. I just completed interviews with The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun-Times, WGN Radio and a number of radio talk shows. The Sun-Times sent a photographer to shoot some pictures of me holding up the napkin. The Washington Post is running a photo, too. What spin they will put on this I do not know. Whatever it is, we will know tomorrow.
Q: Saw this on Fox News too. Had to come and see for myself. I hope they run the debates on Fox too. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: I never expected this kind of publicity, even in my sweatiest dreams, but if they televise debates between Barak Obama and Alan Keyes, I'll get you a dollar to a donut that it will be Obama who does the sweating!
Q: Don't do the "Buy it now" option!It will continue to get media coverage & chances are it will bring much more & it is great for the exposure Ambassador Keyes' is getting! He is truly a great man! And as an Illinoian I want him to be my new Senator!!! Thanks for the great work you are doing here!! Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Thanks for the advise. I guess this makes you my official eBay election consultant. I'll keep it as a regular auction...but I do have this one tiny problem. I'm doing this thing as an individual trying to raise money for the Keyes campaign, but, here's the kick in the head: if the bids go over $1000, I think I might be risking some prison time if I donate over $1000. What do I do with the overage? Is there a lawyer out there somewhere?
Q: Saw this on Foxnews and just wanted to say that selling this item(which is allowed in our FREE enterprise society) is not as pathetic as Jack Ryan's reason for dropping out of Race. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: It's always nice to hear from someone who is so supportive of our free enterprise system. This has been fun being an (unofficial) part of this historic campaign. As for Jack Ryan, I actually met him once. He seemed like a very nice, straight forward guy.
Q: Just seen this auction on Fox News. Just wanted to say "Good Job!" Going to sit back and watch now. Do you care to add a "Buy It Now" option? Answered on Aug-09-04
A: I'm new at this. I don't know how to add a buy it now. How is that done?
Q: Did you see you made it on Fox news, with Brit Hume? Answered on Aug-09-04
A: No, I didn't even know Brit Hume covered this sweaty napkin story. Thanks for the heads up.
Q: well anything to help the repulicans Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Ambassador Keyes embodies the platform of the Republican Party. And, yes, you're right: Every little drip helps.
Q: Is is paper or cloth? Answered on Aug-09-04
A: Paper.
Q: About the napkin: what does the combination of desperation, insanity and contorted Aristotelian "logic" smell like? Just a question. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: It smells like sweet victory! There are two kinds of sweat: Happy sweat (Alan's type) and worry sweat (the kind I imagine Mr. Obama must will be producing as we get closer to the first Lincoln-Douglas style debates.
Q: pathetic. Answered on Aug-09-04
A: What's pathetic about selling campaign memoribilia, to, in turn, donate back to the Keyes campaign? Campaign buttons, sweaty napkins, same difference. Both are a slice of history. Truth be told, now that Alan Keyes has entered the raced, it will be Obama who will be sweating now.
Q: Hi, I was outbid on this item but I was wondering if you would know how I could contribute directly to Keyes for senate? And if I am to win the bid on the item would you be able to provide proof that you contributed the money towards the Keyes campaign? Thanks. Mary, Answered on Aug-09-04
A: I'm committed to donate the proceeds from the sale of the sweat to the Keyes campaign so long as the sale is under $1000. Anything above that exceeds Federal Election laws. So, you have my committment to donate 100% of all money under $1000. I'm not with the Keyes campaign and cannot speak for them. I hope this helped.
Q: You're kiddining right? Answered on Aug-09-04
A: No, I'm not kidding. I'm hoping to raise some money from the sale of the sweat to donate to the Keyes campaign. This is just my way of helping in the race. But much to my surprise, I just received calls from the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, and numerous talk shows. I'm so busy doing interviews, I hardly have time to respond to these emails, such as yours. I hope I didn't offend you. Thanks for your interest.
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