Late-nite political jokes

[russian33]

"President Bush said yesterday it doesn't make any sense to raise taxes on the rich because rich people can figure out how to dodge taxes. Then Dick Cheney said 'Shut up! You're ruining everything.'" --Jay Leno


"This week, G.I. Joe celebrates his 40th birthday. And today, Republicans questioned his military service" --Craig Kilborn


"John Kerry has also proposed a ten-year plan for energy independence and President Bush said 'Oh it's not going to take that long to get all the oil out of Iraq.'" --Jay Leno


"When they say they served with Kerry in Vietnam, what they really mean is that they were in Vietnam at the same time. Kind of like how Snoopy served with the Red Baron" --Jon Stewart, on the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth, who have attacked Kerry's military service record

"This past weekend, President Bush was in Maine for the wedding of his nephew, Jeb's son, George P. Boy, it sounds like an episode of 'Dukes of Hazzard,' doesn't it? 'Yeah, Jeb's boy, George P. got hitched.' In fact, when they wheeled out the wedding cake, three oil company executives jumped out. Prince Bandar was best man." --Jay Leno
(hahahahaha, Bandar the best man, hahahaha)

"First Lady Laura Bush said that people shouldn't be saying that the benefits from stem cell research are 'right around the corner' because it gives people false hope. Then later her husband said that the economic recovery is 'right around the corner.'" --Jay Leno

"Republicans are now trying to energize their Amish vote. Dick Cheney is really pandering to the Amish. Today he told a senator to go f--- thyself." —Bill Maher

"They've been having a lot of trouble in Illinois finding a Republican candidate to go up against Barack Obama. Well I think they finally found one in our own friend Alan Keyes, you know, the African-American fire-brand conservative preacher. The only problem is Keyes lives in Maryland. ... It's starting to look bad for Republicans. First they couldn't find Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan, then they couldn't find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and now they can't find a black person in Chicago." —Bill Maher

"Bush and Kerry tried to plan their schedules so they're not in the same place at the same time. A tradition they started during Vietnam." —Craig Kilborn



many more can be found here: http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bldailyfeed3.htm

[papau]

1. Great jokes! LOL :-)

:-)

[goju]

2. Damn funny

"Republicans are now trying to energize their Amish vote. Dick Cheney is really pandering to the Amish. Today he told a senator to go f--- thyself." —Bill Maher


Maybe Im tired but that is just too funny. I think I can picture him saying it!

[olddem43]

9. Bill Maher didn't say "go F thyself " -

He used the entire word.

[fob]

3. Damn, where can we get audio/video of these 2 quotes - Too Funny!!

"First Lady Laura Bush said that people shouldn't be saying that the benefits from stem cell research are 'right around the corner' because it gives people false hope. Then later her husband said that the economic recovery is 'right around the corner.'" --Jay Leno

[flamingyouth]

4. That Maher quote about Keyes is just brilliant

My dad was telling me about it over the weekend and just cracking me up. :7

[stanwyck]

5. Like it or not, folks

this is how elections are won. Or lost. Ask Al Gore. He got painted as a weakling nerd liar, unfairly, of course, and it cost him votes. (though he did get half a million more than the other guy). This sampling represents those "other people". The ones who don't post here. Who don't know who Krugman is. Or Rove. Or even Lewis Black. And they don't listen to Rush or Imus. The popular cultural shift is away from Bush. He's losing the middle.

[JonnyRotten]

6. funnier

ths is funnier. www.soundclick.com/skrimshank click music and hit dubya. Its the new track from skrimshank. british bush haters!

[0007]

7. The truth is funny!!

[DeepModem Mom]

8. Thanks for the laughs, russian33!