What about Mrs. McGreevey? Some talking heads are

[saracat]

praising the NJ Gov. for his "bravery" in coming out on national television, but what about his wife facing the most ultimate humiliation a wife can have. I have heard no one ,including the Governor express concern, or notice that she wasn't apologized to, by the errant Gov. This women was the mother of his child.I have heard a lot of boo hooing about his lying to himself, but what about his lying to her?And what are they going to do? Anyone know if they are going to divorce? He is claiming he broke his marital vows, but is a strict Catholic.Any buzz on the story as to what happens next? I am truly sorry for his wife.I'd boil him in oil. Not for being gay, but for lying to his wife. Apparently he deceived his first wife, by whom he had another child, as well.

[UdoKier]

1. I did a thread on her.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x2204293


And I do believe he expressed regret for what this all will do to his wife and kids.

He's a jackass IMO, but he handled today's announcement reasonably well.

I'm still not 100% convinced that he should have stepped down, though...

[Fridays Child]

2. The only thing I read about that is that they're going away together...

...for the weekend to figure things out. :shrug:

[lapfog_1]

3. I guess you didn't listen to the same speech I heard

I'm not defending McGreeley for "being brave" or anything... I think
some of this (his decision) is related to the other scandals in this
guys life.

But, I did hear him talk quite a bit about his wife and how this
was an issue for them to work out between them and that she had
been the rock in his life.

As for the whole "boy was he ever lying to everyone in his life"...
I don't think it's quite that simple. I think there are many people
who are gay who try very hard to "fit in" to the straight world,
getting married, fathering (or giving birth) to children, trying
to be a loving husband/wife... and then figuring out (even later
in life) that there are these feelings that they just can't ignore
anymore. While I'm sure that this wasn't the first "affair" with
a man that McGreeley engaged in, it's not a given that he thought
of himself as gay until very recently. Ariana Huffington gave
a great interview today on this very subject (and she has personal
experience with it).

[saracat]

4. Qh, Please!

Trying to "fit in" doesn't excuse destroying someone elses life. Sorry , dear, I'm gay and have no use for you.Hope we can be friends? This is an issue to "work out between them"? How ridiculous! He is gay. That is not an "issue".It is who he is, and apparently, she married someone she didn't know. And he calls her his "rock" How insulting.Maybe she was his best friend too?

[Guaranteed]

5. Well, maybe he'll change his mind

(tongue in cheek, for those who want to flame)

[DrWeird]

6. I haven't been keeping up with the story...

but is there any reason to believe that she didn't know he was gay the whole time?

[saracat]

7. If it's an"issue we must work out between us" as he said,

she didn't know. Also he'd been married before and had a child.And he admitted he had been struggling with it. I think she didn't know.JMHO

[REP]

8. "Ultimate Humiliation"? How's That?

Saying that she has faced the "ultimate humiliation" implies that she somehow 'turned' him gay, or that somehow she's at fault. She isn't; and I don't think he tried to deceive her.

I have heard countless stories from men and women who, when they first began to realize that they were attracted to people of the same sex, that they hoped it was a phase, or maybe they'd grow out of it, or maybe they could overcome it by force of will. Being gay in America now isn't always an easy life; being gay when McGreavey was growing up was probably even more difficult. There are many, many men and women like him, who married only later to find that they couldn't keep denying who they really were; people who were trying their best to conform, fit in, to be "normal." Today, more and more people are realizing that being gay isn't anything to hide, but there are still many who feel safer in the closet.

Without knowing him personally, I'm willing to give him the benefit of doubt, and believe that when he married, he had no intention of deceiving his wife. I wish them both the best in deciding what to do next.

[sleepystudent]

9. but it was his *second* marriage

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, bc I'm gay and I can't imagine being in his situation, but sometimes my cynical part takes over and I think he was roping this woman into a sham marriage for show in order to further his political career.

[REP]

10. I Doubt It

Growing up Catholic and Republican - that's some mighty heavy baggage for a gay man to carry.

I have no doubt he's a bad guy for other reasons, but I have sympathy for him over coming to terms with his sexuality. As Jon Stewart said, it sucks that he felt he had to resign due to being gay.

[sleepystudent]

11. Republican?

I thought he was a Dem.

And I'm not sure that political affiliation has anything to do with this at all-if Rick Perry, the conservative gov of Texas, had come out, it's rumored he's gay, people would be cracking jokes and gloating on here. I guarantee it.

[REP]

12. I Could Be Wrong!

But I'm pretty sure he's Catholic, and Catholics aren't big on toleration of gays.

I'm sure you're right about Perry or any other R coming out as gay. If they actively tried to make life hellish for gays, that's one thing; but just being gay is only laff-worthy if you're in junior high and/or a moron.

[saracat]

13. He didn't resign because he is gay!

He resigned because of the sexual harassment lawsuit that is going to out him anyway! His coming out was ducking for cover!

[Bernardo de La Paz]

14. He resigned because he lied to his wife . . . nt

[saracat]

15. Heard countless stories from gay people as they adjusted have you/

How many stories have you heard from their straight partners that were also hurt by the experience, or don't they count? It's nice to say it wasn't her fault etc, but have you walked in her shoes ? Do you know what people say to themselves? Just as when a straight partner cheats, the husband or wife will blame themselves and what they could have done differently, but in this instance not only will they not find an answer but will think of themselves as stupid as well.I had a gay boyfriend in college, and though I was surrounded by gay friends, I never suspected .He did use me to project a persona that was straight.I never felt I made him gay but I did feel stupid and violated,which is why it is tremendous humiliation.You also feel that the essence of yourself has been rejected. I am not willing to give him the benefit of the doubt as he himself refers to this as an "issue they need to sort out between themselves".They would have already sorted it out if she had known.The guy was married twice, and had two children.Shweesh.And BTW I am almost his age and know lots of people who found the courage to come out then! It was almost a fashionable thing in the late seventies and early eighties.It wasn't that difficult as you seem to think.