George W. Bush: America's Pathetic Ex-Boyfriend

[markses]

So, as we were preparing for work this morning, my wife and I sipped coffee and listened to the dull hum of the Today Show while reading our NY Times. Suddenly, the cringe-worthy voice sputtered out: "I'm George W. Bush, and I approve this message." New Bush ad. Fine. I had heard that Bush would be doing some "positive" ads after the collapse of his money-pit negative ads, so here we go. Then the bizarre line, paraphrased here:

I know how hard it was for parents on September 11 deciding which of their children to pick up first.

The whaaaaa? My wife and I peered at each other over our newspapers, and we both burst out laughing. What in the hell? So the wife says to me: "Jeez. He's like a pathetic ex-boyfriend." I spit my coffee all over the business section. Plase, dear, explain.

So, there is the pathetic ex-boyfriend. You had a good time with him once or twice, but that's about it. So, you break up, but he keeps coming around, and whenever he does, he invariably reminds you of that good time. Remember our weekend in Vermont? Regardless of the situation, whenever you see him, the weekend in Vermont is always the sell. Did you see the latest Tom Cruise movie, P E-B? No, not yet. But remember the movie we saw our weekend in Vermont? So, how are the Jets doing? Not so good this year - they were doing better that weekend we spent in Vermont...remember the game was on in the bar and all the Patriot fans were pissed?

You know the type. Pathetic ex-boyfriend. That's Bush. He can't even help himself. he can't even utter a simple sentence with that weekend in Vermont coming out. And it's just pathetic as all get out. And the more the pathetic ex-boyfriend reminds you of that weekend in Vermont, the less you esteem it in your own memory. Actually, that weekend in Vermont kinda sucked, the more you think about it.

With his incessant September 11 references, even where they seem to have no real connection, Bush is very much coming off like a pathetic ex-boyfriend. Bush: America's pathetic ex-boyfriend.

[trotsky]

1. HA HA HA

That analogy is perfect!

[olddem43]

2. A good analogy - Although it was his best time politically,

it was, in the long run, one of his worst failures. Amazing that he sees one of the worst days in U.S. History as a "good old time."

[eyesroll]

3. Well put.

That faux Sophie's Choice thing confuses me, too. I don't have kids, and I live in Wisconsin, not New York...but, really, was anyone agonizing over that? Didn't parents who wanted to get their children just go, and get them in the order they usually did, or according to location or whatever?

[CBHagman]

18. Yeah, I just thought of Sophie's Choice, too.

All I can think of is Meryl Streep screaming and crying -- and how depressed I felt after the movie ended. It's sort of one big Bush presidency experience, isn't it -- misery, followed by depression.

[Carni]

4. Great analogy EXCEPT...

I think he's the pathetic ex-boyfriend with an STD...
(The gift that just keeps giving after that lousy weekend in Vermont)

[sldavis]

5. thanks for the laugh

very funny comparison. Let's just hope America is smart enough not to fall for "charity sex" with the ex in November.

[HootieMcBoob]

6. That I like!

Why aren't you and your wife working for the Kerry campaign? It seems to me there is just so much to use against him and his group. Kerry needs to go on the offensive with this instead of always responding to their attacks. That's the only way he'll get any attention at all in the media. All Cheney had to do was spout that childish "sensitive" thing and they were all over it like flies on shit. Kerry talks about real issues in detail and you don't hear a thing about it.

[markses]

8. We are doing our part

n/t

[chiburb]

7. Well done! Thank the Ms. for her contibution too...n/t

[Nashyra]

9. Right on

I've printed this out for a friend of mine who is sitting on the fence. Although if he doesn't get off pretty soon I'm going to push him no make it shove him off the fence. Thanks

[Quahog]

10. So true

That's a very apt, clever analogy.

Remember when he said at the end of 2001 that he and Laura had had "a really great year"? He honestly does have glowing memories of 9/11. All of the family's plans came off without a hitch. It was the shining moment of his residency.

He can't let it go.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

11. Yeah, well at least he's not a French flip flopper.

Oh fuck the stupid negative advertisement campaign has finally gotten to me. Sorry, I'll go and take my medication now. :evilgrin:

[AspenRose]

12. Now THAT is funny and wicked clever

Mad props to your wife for that one.

[merh]

13. LOL, thanks for the laugh.

The ad is ridiculous. He sat for 7 mins, yet he knows that kids were in a panic and worried about their children!

Add to your wife's analogy that the ex-boyfriend was 2 timing her during the Vermont weekend, she just didn't learn it until after the weekend.

[Gregorian]

14. Ha, I love it. Except this exboyfriend

Emptied your bank account. And crashed the car.

Maybe we can get a restraining order. Maybe we can lock him up.

:)

[demigoddess]

15. fifty years from now he will still be using the same lines.

He will still be trying to remind us of the event that made his life worth living (for him)
P.S. the which child would I chose to save line is disgusting. You just know he probably thinks in those terms himself.

[markses]

16. Kick

Shameless. Sorry.

[Bluebear]

19. Why is this not in every newspaper?

I thought it was an op-ed piece. Brilliant! Get thee to your computer and start sending it off!

[skygazer]

17. Very funny analogy

But the thought of that particular ex-boyfriend being anywhere near Vermont makes me a little sick....