Schedule Released For RNC

[Kanary]

ok, so it's *maybe* a bit...... sarcastic.....

:hi:

Schedule for the opening day of the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION


6:00 P.M. - Opening prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell


6:30 P.M. - Pledge of Allegiance


6:35 P.M. - Ceremonial Burning of the Bill of Rights and the
Constitution (excluding the Second Amendment)


6:45 P.M. - Salute to the "Coalition of the Willing"


6:46 P.M. - Seminar 1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really
Necessary?"


7:30 P.M. - Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan


7:35 P.M. - Trent Lott - "Resegregation in the 21st Century"


7:40 P.M. - EPA Address 1: "Mercury: It's What's for Dinner"


8:00 P.M. - Vote on which country to invade next


8:10 P.M. - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh


8:15 P.M. - John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"


8:30 P.M. - Round table discussion on reproductive rights (Men Only)


8:50 P.M. - Seminar 2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"


9:00 P.M. - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"


9:05 P.M. - Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be
Leaders"


9:10 P.M. - EPA Address 2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires"


9:30 P.M. - Break for secret meetings


10:00 P.M. - Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas


10:15 P.M. - Carl Rove Lecture: "Doublespeak Made Simple"


10:30 P.M. - Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: "How to Squint and Talk
Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside"


10:35 P.M. - Bush demonstration of tr! ademark "deer in headlights"stare


10:40 P.M. - John Ashcroft demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity
Belt


10:45 P.M. - GOP's tribute to tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi
Rice


10:46 P.M. - Ann Coulter's tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot"


10:50 P.M. - Seminar 3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"


11:10 P.M. - Hilary Clinton Pi-ata


11:20 P.M. - John Ashcroft lecture: "Evolutionists: A Dangerous New
Cult"


11:30 P.M. - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again


11:35 P.M. - Blame Clinton


11:40 P.M. - Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"


11:41 P.M. - Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore


11:50 P.M. - Closing prayer led by Jesus Himself


12:00 Mid - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
Overlord

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

1. Excellent! What about the "Leadership" speech by Tony Soprano?

[Comicstripper]

2. "How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside"

Hahahahahaha

[frankly_fedup2]

3. Absolutely excellent display of possible itinerary for the GOP. LOL

Did you write that or did you cut and paste it from somewhere? If you wrote it, nice job.

[Kanary]

5. Ohhh, I wish I did!

Just had it sent to me, and thought maybe a few here would like a chuckle for a change.

:hi:

When I started reading it, my mind was on something else, and when I got to the part about the Lincoln memorial being renamed for King Ronnie, I about shrieked. Y'know, there are so many really lolo shenanigans promoted by this gang of thugs that almost anything becomes believable.

Have fun passing it on to your friends!

Kanary

[unfrigginreal]

4. Heh!

Did you make this list? Damned funny!! :toast:

[Kanary]

9. arencha glad they are recognizing BBV at 6:46? ~~wave to mike~~

( the agent, that is....)

I think my fave is Condi singing "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

Kanary

[chuck555]

6. Talk about a dupe.

Posted way to often to be funny,not that it was to begin with.

The real agenda is much better. the poverty and the stupidity is just that.

[jimshoes]

10. I don't know...

It gets funnier every time I read another one. But then I have a sense of humor.

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

7. Can't see Jesus attending the RNC...

'cause they'd throw him out for being a long-haired, peace-loving socalist hippie freak.

:evilgrin:

[southernleftylady]

8. :) lol always a good laugh! :) thanks for posting nt