What would it be like if CNN had been there to report on historical events

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

Candy Crowley: Well, a few white, liberal, elitist, Northern abolitionists MIGHT care about this Emancipation Proclamation thing. But most people have Lincoln-fatigue. (eye-roll and grimace)

What most REAL black and white Americans REALLY care about is what it would be like to have a barbecue with that handsome, fun-loving rebel - (big smile, sparkling eyes and glowing face) Jeff Davis!

[DancingBear]

1. Little Big Horn

Bill Schneider: According to our latest polls, Judy, 78% of the American populace believes that Indians are indeed "redmen", and that Custer is on a mission from God.

Judy Woodruff: Well, thank you Bill, always good to hear from you and to get a pulse on what America is thinking.

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

8. Tweety on MSNBC:

Everybody just LOVED it when Custer said "Mission Accomplished" before the battle began and he looked so good in that cavalry uniform that all the women-folk just LOVE this genocidal campaign!

[TheDonkey]

2. CNN Breaking: Thomas Jefferson ate a pot pie with swiss cheese.

Not to mention with dainty bites.

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

3. Fox question of the day --

Why does the Ambassador to FRANCE eat pot pie with SWISS cheese and what do you think of his stockings and knee pants?

[beaconess]

4. "Frederick Douglass somehow managed to find his way onto the stage."

"He went over 14 minutes last night in his speech and was absolutely defiant in his defense of what he had to say."
- Tom Brokaw

[TheDonkey]

10. LOL

so sad and so funny at the same time.

This thread is the same.

[bigtree]

5. This is CNN

Cow Crowley (burping while finishing off a jar of Velveeta):

In this hour: Will Roosevelt's decision to provide aid to Britain and the Soviet Union provoke a German declaration of war against the United States? Also, will his ultimatums against Japan bring on an attack against our country?

In the next hour: Will his efforts to pressure Britain, France and Poland into conflict against Germany provoke a second World War?

Back to you Wolf. (belch)

[DrMath]

6. Well, it wouldn't matter...

...because the winner in these historical events always makes up their side of the story anyway and that's what gets written in the books. The other side is dead so they don't have much to say about it.

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

7. PS: I think the mods will remove the thread if people

start talking about Candy's weight again, so try to refrain pretty please!

[bigtree]

9. "Velveeta Cheese and Dainty bites"

That was her commentary.

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

11. I know, I didn't direct that at you!

Actually, I heard during World War II she swilled Nehi and ate Moon Pies while reporting from Washington that "Americans really resent that 'unpopular' Harry Truman who is holding commission to give trouble to our brave, patriotic corporations who, he is for some reason known only to himself, claiming are engaged in "war-profiteering."