Looking for comments on my LTTE

[T Roosevelt]

First draft of an LTTE about the upcoming convention. Comments?


What are the Republicans embarrassed of? After looking at the speaker schedule for the upcoming Republican National Convention, I am curious as to why no Republicans who represent the heart and soul of the party have prime time slots. John McCain, Rudy Guiliani and Arnold Schwarzenegger are today considered fringe Republicans, and Zell Miller is a turncoat about to be ejected from his own party. Why aren't Rick Santorum and Dennis Hastert, arguably more representative of Republican values, speaking in the coveted evening television spots? Where is Tom Delay, the engineer of much of the party's platform? Also absent are Trent Lott, Jesse Helms, and Saxby Chambliss, all southerners, the pride of the party.
What we have is a Potemkin Village, a "a pretentiously showy or imposing façade intended to mask or divert attention from an embarrassing or shabby fact or condition", quite an appropriate term for what will be seen in New York City. This is an example of the GOP's standard strategy of campaigning as centrist and concealing the fact, once in office, they'll govern as right-wing radicals.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. Strom Thurmond

is deceased, I believe...or is it the other racist guy? I think you might wish to add the 'rising star' running for the Senate from IL-Alan Keyes.

[T Roosevelt]

3. Oops

Meant that to be Jesse Helms...knew Strom was pushing daisies.

[BillZBubb]

2. I like it! It's right on target.

A couple of suggestions: Drop the opening question. Your second sentence is much stronger and sets the right tone.

I would also shorten it a bit by dropping the references to Lott (Thurmond is dead!), and Chambliss. Then drop the last sentence. I think readers get your point. Editors really love short, high impact letters.

That's my $.02 anyway.

[pinto]

4. a suggestion lifted from Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain):

write your draft letter, then, take out every adjective and adverb. re-read. does the "story" make your point? re-write as necessary.

I like your draft a lot.

[Hoping4Change]

5. Luv the reference to Potemkin Village. Maybe some New Yorkers

may want to change Grenwich Village to Potemkin for the duration of the convention:(

[bobbieinok]

6. break it into shorted paragraphs......easier to read

[olddem43]

7. I like it and agree with amBushed's suggestions - except I would

keep the last sentence but leave out "concealing the fact", "they'll" ,and change govern to governing.